


To Give Up a Human Heart

by AprilFeldspar



Series: The Arrangement [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-18
Updated: 2013-12-11
Packaged: 2018-01-02 00:38:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 37,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1050455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AprilFeldspar/pseuds/AprilFeldspar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been a year since Carol Marcus left the Augment colony to return to Starfleet service. Yet despite finding a new home aboard the USS Enterprise, she discovers she cannot quite close the book on this chapter in her life and much less forget the superhuman prince. When the two of them are thrust back together on a mission with personal stakes for both Khan and the Enterprise crew, she is faced with a choice she never thought she would have the opportunity to make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: yeah, because if I owned Star Trek, this is how I'd use it. Not mine; it all belongs to some big wigs from Hollywood. And possibly J.J. Abrams.  
> Rating: PG-13 of the strong kind  
> Warnings: numerous literary references ahead  
> Timeline: Star Trek: Into Darkness AU

“You could not give up a human heart as you could give up drinking. The drink was yours, and you could give it up: but your lover’s soul was not your own: it was not at your disposal; you had a duty towards it.” ― T.H. White, The Once and Future King 

# # #

Second Science Officer Log. Personal. The war with the Klingons is over, but save for the signing of an armistice, one would scarcely notice it. Both sides are too distrustful of each other to begin negotiating for a real peace treaty. So we stare menacingly at each other over the Neutral Zone from well-armed stations and outposts. Fighting might have stopped for now, but the hostility endures. 

In the aftermath of the war, the Alpha Quadrant is worse for the wear. The growing insecurity has benefited pirates and criminals and the Orion Syndicate has risen to be a galactic power onto itself, the daring nature of its attacks unprecedented. They have made repeated incursions into Federation space, putting the border colonies at increased risk. Intelligence indicates the Klingons have the same problems. It's not the only thing we and our enemy have in common: we apparently both fear an attack either coming from the Cardassians or from the Romulans, wanting to take advantage of our weakening in the aftermath of the war. 

Overall, the atmosphere in Starfleet is bleak, as we watch the borders and the future with frightened, uncertain eyes. Under the circumstances, I worry about more commanding officers following the precedent my father set in terms of the end justifying the means. However, people like Admiral Pike and the crew aboard the USS Enterprise give me hope in the opposite direction. I have been serving on this ship for ten months now and I must say it has been nice to be reminded of all the things I used to hold dear about Starfleet.

I have been greatly concerned about my adapting to my old job, especially in the aftermath of my father's conviction for treason. However, the process was made considerably easier by the unmitigated support of Captain Kirk and that of his senior officers. Safe for the occasional gossip, I have spared uncomfortable questions and mentioning of my time on Ceti Alpha V or of my relationship with Khan.

The report of my psychological evaluation seems to be enough for Jim, yet I sense that Mister Spock, the first officer, remains skeptical of me. The same cannot be said for his girlfriend and Chief Communication Officer of the Enterprise. Nyota and I have become quite good friends and I am thankful for her backing. She has made fitting in that much easier for me. The other person I feel obliged to is the captain himself. Though I'm aware he is interested in something more than my friendship, I am far from ready to accept the overtures of anyone. Fortunately, perhaps because of the difference in our ranks, Jim has not pressed for more. 

I have yet to confide in him or anyone else for that matter about what went on between me and Khan. During the Enterprise's most recent visit to Earth right before we embarked on the highly-anticipated and much-postponed five year mission, I have made inquires into the annulment of our marriage, however I have yet to file any paperwork on it. The Augments value loyalty in all aspects of life above anything else and I cannot bear the thought that Khan would think of me as treacherous as my father. I am aware that I will never see him again and that I will have to move on at some point, yet for now there is no comfort to be found in that thought. 

Sometimes, after a particularly difficult shift, I find myself lying awake in my bed thinking about him and his people. They presumably rebuilt the colony. If so, did they find my previous insights into the installations needed for its good functioning of any use? Do they even remember that I used to be a part of their lives or are they just glad to be rid of me? Despite my affection for Nyota, I feel the loss of Kati. Some days I come across something she would get a kick of and I miss her dry humor and startling yet refreshing cynicism. 

My longing for Khan is something I cannot bring myself to confront outside my dreams, either. No, that's no quite true. Every time I open one of those paper books I never cared for before, I am reminded of him. Of his voice as he read to me, of his rare smiles, of the way he looked at me every time I helped his people unconditionally, of his caresses. There is no denying. While he might have deceived me, my feelings for him were... are real. 

Beyond the manipulations, the killer-machine his creators tried to make him into and his superior ambition, there is a passionate and incredibly brave man. A man who is loyal to a fault to his family. For the longest time I thought my attraction to him was rooted in his intelligence, formidable even among the Augments. The more time I spend away from him, the more I understand that it was the unexpected speck of kindness that I have begun to love about him. As his favorite author would put it: the warm spark at the heart of an arctic crystal. 

Unfortunately, all of these can lead to only one outcome: my inability to put him behind me. Even as I strive to do so, I cannot help but hope to see him again one day. Sometimes as I roam the pristine halls of the Enterprise, my mind slips back to the gray skies and the violent winds of Ceti Alpha V. Although part of me will always look up to what Starfleet represents, I have come to better comprehend that aiding in erecting a whole new world in a hostile environment was no small feature. 

Nobody is more surprised than me, but it seems I have a bit of a pioneer spirit in me. Here, in my carefully ordered world, I find myself nostalgically thinking back to the roughness of the Augments world. Other times I am angry with myself. This is what I wanted and where I wanted to be. I should be happy.

Yet I wonder what else I didn't know about myself before my arrival to the Ceti Alpha system. I feel both like cursing and blessing that day. Before it everything was so clear, so simple and dare I say, pure. I was so secure in my convictions of the utter nobility of the Federation and the perfection of our way of life. My vision was clearly divided in black and white. I would have laughingly dismissed anyone telling of the existence of something so shady as Section 31. I worshiped my father, our terrestrial paradise and the Charter. Now I live among fallen idols and dealing in the gray is emotionally and morally taxing. 

I wish I could, but I cannot pretend everything is the same, when in fact, everything has changed. The truths I now know, the secrets I carry haunt me and are frequently more painful than my conflicted memories of Khan. My ego is bruised by his rejection and a part of me resents him for getting so many uncomfortable things right about my world. I want him to have looked me in the eye, when he sent me away. I want him to have asked me to stay and at the same time I'm fully aware I would have told him no. 

There is an old, possibly apocryphic Chinese curse: may you come to the attention of people in power; may you live in interesting times and may you get what you want. Considering the events in both my private life and the recent history of the Federation, I can only conclude that the ancient Chinese really knew their curses. 

# # #

Hendorff lay on his back on the floor of the training area, gasping for breath. Carol swore she could feel the room temperature instantly drop a few degrees. It was the third time that had happened since she was on board, but she hoped she had learnt her lesson after violently putting down Madeline the first time around and bruising a security officer's ribs the second by using tactics she had picked up while sparring with the Augments. The problem was that while she could charge at any of them at full force, same could not be said about regular humans and most aliens on the Enterprise.

After the first incident, even Nyota had stared at her dubiously and McCoy had speedily scheduled her for a medical exam. He had claimed it was all routine, but Carol had figured out he wanted to check her out for side affects of the transfusion of Khan's blood. He had found none and never mentioned the affair again. While Carol had not been surprised at the results, she had expected Kirk or Spock to drop a few hints or outright ask what had happened, despite her not having broken any regulations. Yet that had not come to pass. 

She knew that there were lasting consequences of her time with the Augments. However, none of those would ever show up on any medical scanner. The superhumans were always hyper aware of their surroundings and of the potential threats wherein and Khan or her friends among them had had no qualms about teaching her to use even her duller senses to constantly be on her guard. That proved extremely beneficial during away missions, but on the ship it only served to put her colleagues on edge. 

As she extended her hand to poor Hendorff, apologizing profusely, she could feel the uneasy gazes of everyone in the room on her back, while the sound of whispering traveled to her ears.

# # #

“I thought I was the only one on board who still reads those,” the captain's voice startled her out of Tennyson's Idylls of the King, sounding unusually loud in the otherwise empty rec room. 

She blinked and lifted her eyes from the page to look at Jim, who stood before her, a cup of something, presumably coffee, in his hand. She had barely suppressed the urge to slam the book on the table and jump up, ready to attack, before her brain could derail her instincts. Maybe her fellow crewmen were right to talk behind her back about her abnormal responses. She was no longer on an unpredictable, wild planet, but in a safe environment, on a Starfleet vessel. Her well-ingrained impulses should have faded out by now. 

“Lord Tennyson's poems?” she asked, relaxing her posture and raising the book so he could catch a glimpse of the cover.

“No,” Kirk responded with a boyish smile. “Real paper books,” he explained. “Do you mind if I sit?” he asked gesturing to the chair across from her.

She shook her head no. “You're much more full of surprises than your reputation suggests,” she noted. 

He almost choked on the sip he was in the process of taking from his mug. “I have a reputation?”

His confusion made her instantly regret her comment, as she was reminded of his typical kicked puppy reaction at being insulted. For someone so confident and boisterous, Kirk could be oddly insecure at times, which in turn made her less than sure of how to deal with him. 

“This is about your friend, Christine, isn't it?” he said mournfully, before she could open her mouth to speak. “How is she?”

“Still on the outer frontier. Doing very well. She is a dating a colleague.”

“Good, that's good,” he remarked still not meeting her eyes. Then as though through magic, he recovered and smiled at her again.”Couldn't sleep?” 

She had almost forgotten it was supposed to be night-time by the ship's clock. “I have bouts of insomnia every now and then,” she admitted but neglected to mention how claustrophobic the Enterprise sometimes seemed to her. She had left her quarters for the rec room in an attempt to give herself more breathing space. 

“I know what you mean,” he said, rubbing at his temples. 

She looked at him more carefully then and noticed his blood-shot eyes and the bruised skin under them. With the ship bouncing between their mission and the frequent distress calls from both colonies and transport vessels, there was a lot of responsibility resting on the captain's young shoulders. She was just about say something comforting, when the alert from the bridge communication system sounded. 

“Bridge to Captain Kirk,” Lieutenant Hannity requested. 

Said captain got to his feet. “Kirk here.”

“Sir, I have a priority one message from Admiral Pike for you,” Hannity informed him.

Kirk shot Carol an apologetic look. She just nodded in comprehension. 

“On my way.”

 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

The bridge crew, the Chief Engineer and the CMO congregated in the Briefing Room. The captain was already there and did not speak until everyone was seated. “An hour ago I have received a subspace message from Admiral Pike. Considering the sensitive nature of this communique, this briefing is classified. We were ordered to change course and head for the Deep Space Station K-7 near the Klingon border. There we will pick up the admiral and head for a destination to be relayed to us later.”

Mister Spock frowned and leaned slightly forward. “Were we disclosed the nature of our assignment, Captain?” 

Kirk nodded. “As you all know, several border colonies and many transport ship have been attacked by the Orion Syndicate. Our Intelligence indicates it that the Klingon Empire has had the same problems recently. Their High Council has recently contacted the Federation to begin negotiations to find a solution to this problem together. If these negotiations are successful, it could be the first step towards long-term peace. The Federation Council has appointed Admiral Pike as our representative to these talks. We are to assure his transport and security to a neutral location. Once there, Mr. Spock and I will accompany the admiral to the discussions. Also, taking into account her proficiency in Klingon, I recommended Lieutenant Uhura to come along as a translator, should we need one.”

Uhura inclined her head in confirmation. “Understood, Sir.”

Next Kirk gazed at Carol. “Lieutenant Marcus, the admiral and I agree that there'll likely be talk of weapons so you'll come along too.” He waited to her to acknowledge the order before craning his neck to look at the Chief Medical Officer, who sat at his left. “Doctor McCoy, you'll be part of this away team, too. Just in case.”

Kirk leaned back in his chair, enveloping them all in a somber look. “I don't need to tell you how delicate this mission is. This ship has seen action during the war and many crew members lost somebody. While I sympathize, our goal here is to take one step closer to a real peace, not provoke another war. So let's make sure everybody keeps their wits around them and behaves.”

# # #

Chief Communication Officer Log. Supplemental. We have just left K-7 with Admiral Pike on board and are now heading towards a neutral location meant to host the talks between us and the Klingons represented by General Stex with the purpose of finding together a solution to the Orion Syndicate crisis. Nerves are running high on the Enterprise. Those of us aware of the specifics of our mission are concerned about its highly-sensitive nature. The rest of the crew can sense that something is up and are restless as a result. Only Spock remains unflappable. 

However, it's nice to be in close quarters with such an admirable man as Christopher Pike for the first time since graduating from the Academy. The captain is especially happy about it and I must confess I'm happy that the two of them get to spend some time together. Even if it is under such stressful circumstances.

As for myself, I have been using every minute I can spare improving my rusty Klingon and rereading the little information Starfleet has available on their customs. I share the hopes of my fellow officers about an enduring peace with our bellicose neighbor. 

Personal log: regarding my previously expressed worries about Dr. Marcus. Although professionally she has adapted perfectly to her return to Starfleet active duty, I fear that on a personal level, she remains isolated from the rest of us. She has made no attempt to befriend anyone on board out of her own initiative. I feel like we have become friends only at my insistence. She is constantly on her guard and holding back about her experience with the Augments. 

I have discussed the matter with Spock and he theorized that she had an intimate relationship with the Augment leader and former 20th Earth dictator, Khan Noonien Singh. Carol doesn't strike me as impressionable or the sentimental type so I remain skeptical. I am more concerned that she fell victim to a form of abuse while on Ceti Alpha V. But since she does not open up to any of us, all I can do is speculate and wonder what else we can do to help her. 

# # #

Theta IX was not a planet, but a large planetoid in the neutral, empty pocket of space formed between the Federation, the Klingon Empire and the Gorn Hegemony. The space body was covered almost entirely by a large, domed city owned by a Rigelian trade alliance. The city was controversial, to say the least. Part of it was luxury and famously discreet hotels, while its less posh regions were a meeting place for smugglers and criminals. 

However, it was this very mixed character that kept it safe, because it was in everyone's best interest to have a quiet, unaffiliated meeting place in a quadrant agitated by rivaling powers. Officially, both the Enterprise and the Klingon bird of prey carrying Stex were on a shore leave run. The general's presence as well as that of the admiral were confidential and hidden under false names. A tiny, boutique hotel had been fully rented for the secret conference. It enjoyed a reasonably isolated location, surrounded by lush gardens supported by the planetoid's artificial climate. 

The beginning of the talks had been less than promising, yet no more adversarial than anticipated. During the first break, Carol and Nyota decided to take a walk through the miniature park around their hotel. It was a public place, but since they were supposed to be on holiday, it was a good idea to act like it, as too much of a cloak-and-dagger routine would have been suspicious in a city crawling with spies. 

Their conversation was carefully innocent and focused on trivial ship gossip. They had not gone far, when Carol sensed rather than heard a presence behind her. Sharpened instincts on full alert, she whirled around ready to attack and nearly collided with Kati of all people. Carol stopped, frozen in place, and could only stare, unable to believe her eyes. 

Kati held up her hands, a soft smile gracing her lips. “Easy there, 23rd-century Valkyrie.”

Carol felt paralyzed, her heart stuttering painfully in her chest, as memories tumbled in her mind. Kati looked unchanged, though her raven hair was longer than she remembered, and was dressed in gold and pale blue Andorian silk. 

“Well, are you happy to see me or not?” Kati asked mock-upset. 

It served to shake Carol out of her utter surprise. She grinned and flung herself at the Augment, enveloping her in an enthusiastic hug. “Of course I'm happy to see you,” she gushed. “I was just stunned.” 

“Same here,” Kati answered, pulling back to look her over. “From what I've heard, this is a place of ill-repute. Not quite where I expected to find the prim and proper Carol Marcus.”

“Shore leave,” Carol explained, the lie tasting stale in her mouth. She was under strict order to keep quiet about the reason of their visit and running into Kati made her realize with a start that her position in Starfleet would fundamentally change any of her dealings with the Augments. 

Kati took a step back, her expression clouding. In order to keep up with the pretense, Carol was in civilian clothes and her return to her old job would not have been immediately apparent to the Augment woman. 

“You got your old job in Starfleet back,” Kati guessed and Carol could only nod. Then the gloom leached out of Kati's face and she smiled again. “Congratulations! I know you used to miss it... . And you cut your hair. It looks great this way, chic and professional.”

Carol self-consciously tucked an errand strand behind her ear. She had been maintaining her bob at chin-length ever since she started aboard the Enterprise. “Thank you,” she said earnestly and then recalled her manners and Nyota still at her side and. She turned awkwardly to her colleague. “I don't know if you two remember each other.”

“I remember,” Nyota said quietly. “Hello,” she added louder with only a slightly forced grin. 

“Hello,” Kati responded with equal insincerity. “Do you mind if I steal Carol for a bit? We haven't seen each other in over a year and we have a lot of catching up to do.” 

Nyota studied them a little too closely for comfort. “Of course not,” she said smoothly. “Go ahead. We are not due for lunch for yet another hour.”

If Kati had noticed that it was well past lunch by the planetoid's time zone, she didn't mention it, too eager to steer Carol away from Uhura. “So tell me about yourself. How are you doing? Are you happy? Healthy?”

“I'm fine,” she said, her mood growing sullen. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Kati's face fall. 

“Carol... I know you didn't do it for the sake of gratitude, but please just let me say that not a day goes by in which we are not thankful for what you did for us.”

Carol stopped in her tracks.”Yes,” she said dryly. “I could tell you've been thinking of me often.”

Kati touched her upper arm to get her to turn to face her. “We didn't know,” she said, her eyes pleading. “We fully expected him to return from the Enterprise with you, but he came back alone and the ship left. All he would tell us was that you'd gone home. And then he acted as if you were never there.” Kati grabbed one of her hands and squeezed it tightly. “Don't you think I wanted to know if you made a full recovery or get to say goodbye? I wasn't the only one, either. But you know he made a new deal with Starfleet after that. They stay out of our sector and in exchange we stay out of Federation space. We could not risk sending any message past the border without having it misconstrued as provocation. You know from experience just how much trust there's between us and your Starfleet.”

Carol's eyes found the ground around her feet. “Yes, I know.”

Kati clutched sat her fingers one last time before letting them go. “I didn't mean it like that, Carol.”

Carol made a dismissive gesture with her hand. “It's alright. Besides, you don't have to suddenly start coddling me just because of what happened last time I was in your star system.” She paused to draw in a deep breath. Glad as she was to see Kati, the conversation proved difficult. “Khan obviously didn't,” she added bitterly, unable to help herself.

Kati frowned. “Why exactly do you think he sent you away?”

“Isn't it clear? My father was about to lose his position as head of Starfleet, therefore diminishing my strategic relevance. He had no reason to keep me around anymore. The game was over.”

“No,” Kati said vehemently, shaking her head. “I'd lie, if I said I know what was on his mind, when he left you on the Enterprise that day. I've never even seen him in a relationship before. Certainly there have been encounters, but he never connected with anyone. Ever since we grew up together in that horrid research facility, he's been watching over us. He was everything we collectively and individually needed: leader, friend, brother, father. He's never wanted anything for himself. I'm not sure he knows how to.”

Carol ignored the tug her heart gave. “Exactly,” she snapped before realizing they were out in the open. She quickly glanced around, but there was nobody there to make note of her slip. Still she lowered her voice, when she spoke next. “I don't want to sound like I'm judging his devotion to you, but, Kati, that's the whole reason why he seduced me... to avenge the fact that my father dared threaten you and to gain an edge in case he turned on the colony.”

Kati took a step closer looking her squarely in the eye. “I won't deny he's in the habit of using people who are not us for tactical purposes, but regardless of how things started between the two of you, do you honestly believe he never felt anything for you?”

Carol swallowed hard, fighting back tears. “I don't know, Kati.”

Kati sighed. “I'm suddenly overcome by the urge to hightail back to our planet to beat an answer out of him. It won't work, but I could still try.”

Carol smiled sadly. “No, please... I know what good friends you two are. I don't want to drive an edge between you.”

“You're my friend, too,” Kati said, lightly punching her in the arm. 

“Yes, and I just made our reunion a depressing affair. How about we set the whole Khan and me debacle aside and you tell me how the reconstruction is going and how everyone else is doing?”

Kati gave her a slim, encouraging smile before starting to walk again. Carol fell in step besides her. 

“Don't worry. You two will work it out at some point.”

“No, we won't,” Carol answered dully. 

Kati put an arm around her shoulders, affectionately gathering her closer. “I'm trying to learn this whole optimism spiel, Carol. Don't discourage me!”

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: thank you very much for reading! Kudos, criticism and commenting of any sort is highly encouraged, as reviews are love.


	3. Chapter 3

Carol sped up the few hotel stairs only to see Captain Kirk on the terrace attached to the second floor. He was staring at her and she could not shake the feeling that he had been waiting for her. There was no doubt in her mind that Uhura had told him whom they had met earlier in the gardens. Carol's good mood plummeted. Although the fact that she was on fixed timetable had curtailed her talk with Kati, the human had still had the opportunity to find out many pieces of great news about the colony: the reconstruction was going very well, faster than the first time, now that they had experience with it. New children had been born to them. Carol had been deeply touched that McPherson and his wife had named their baby daughter after her. Reluctant as he was to mention her, Khan had given the spectacular, snow-covered mountains in the southern hemisphere the name of Carol's dead mother.

Resolving to take the bull by the horns, she briskly strolled up to meet with the captain and face the music. Jim waited for her with his back resting against the ornate banister of the hotel terrace, silhouetted against the tall glass-like cupola covering city. Like the rest of them, he wore civilian clothes and was dressed in jeans, a plain cotton T-shirt and black, leather jacket. Out of his customary gold uniform, he looked younger, softened somehow, and the fight left her at the obvious worry and exhaustion etched onto his face. 

“Uhura told you,” she remarked in her best casual tone of voice.

He nodded quietly, his eyes intently fixed on her. The situation was delicate. She wasn't breaking any regulations by having friends among the Augments so technically, he had no grounds to ask her anything, but like everyone on board the Enterprise, he had open questions about her time on Ceti Alpha V. She also knew his doubts could be in no way alleviated by the ever suspicious Mister Spock whispering in his ear. 

“Carol,” he began and like her, he clearly made an effort keep his tone innocuous. “There are no rules about who to be friends with.”

“If there were, I would be having this conversation with Mister Spock,” she opined with a small grin.

Kirk chuckled. “Yes, you would. But given my responsibility to the ship and to this mission, I have to ask... .”

“What Kati's doing here,” she said and it came out more biting than she had initially intended. 

He shook his head ruefully. “It's your right to decline to answer.”

She pursed her lips together, feeling torn. “I told her I'm here on shore leave, as instructed,” she finally said. “I don't think she believed me but she didn't question it, either. We talked about the colony and a few personal matters. She is here with another Augment, Otto, to discuss with a group of runaway mixed Orions a possible settlement on the southern hemisphere of Ceti Alpha V to open a mine there. They're staying in another hotel down the road and she was in the gardens, because she wanted to look at flowers that aren't poisonous or have teeth like those on their planet.” 

He grimaced, then lines around his eyes deepening. “Flowers have teeth over there?”

Carol arched a brow. “And they bite. One of the first things you learn about the local flora is that if something is pretty or colorful, it's too dangerous to be anywhere near.”

He laughed for a moment or two before sobering up again. “I really don't want to make you feel like I'm asking you to spy on your friends.”

She sighed. “Kati told me the truth. She maintains the colony's hydroponic gardens and Otto is interested in engineering and exploring. In another world, he would've made an excellent Starfleet officer. They're also social and easy-going. If Khan were to send anyone to negotiate something, it would be them.”

He smiled wryly at her explanation. “How is the reconstruction going? Do they need anything?” he asked, sincerity permeating his voice.

“For Starfleet to leave them alone,” she replied dryly. 

He winced. “Well, next time you see any of them, you can tell them there's a brand new, secret directive stipulating just that.”

She shifted her weight from one leg to another. “Jim, I know you don't have the best memories of them and how important this mission is. But they're my friends and I have as much right to see them as I do with friends from Starfleet.”

He immediately looked contrite. “I know, Carol, and I respect that.”

“Do you? Because we are bound to run into them in places like these again. Will I have to file a report every time that happens?”

Jim blinked rapidly a few time before looking down once, his brows drawn together in a slight scowl. “Of course not. You're free to be friends with who you want.”

She decided the awkwardness had lasted enough and it was time to let him off the hook. “Good. I'm glad that's settled.”

He still seemed somewhat uncomfortable, as he strolled away from the edge of the terrace. “I think it's time to get back inside.”

# # #

Carol was seated between Kirk and Spock. At the captain's left sat Admiral Pike and next to him was Nyota Uhura's chair. She and Carol had not yet had a chance to talk, after the communication officer had relayed to Kirk that they had run into Kati just outside their hotel, though the two of them had exchanged uneasy looks as they had walked into the conference room. They were all patiently listening to General Stex, who stood across the table from them, perorating about the greatness of the Klingon Empire. The rest of the Klingon delegation was seated just like the Federation representatives, either glaring at their former enemies or gazing admiringly at their leader. 

So far none of the two sides had any need for a translator, but from the hushed conversations Uhura had overheard, they had deduced that the Klingons wanted to wriggle an agreement that would require them to commit as little fire power as possible, while keeping their reputation intact. That much had been anticipated, since the Federation's goals in conducting these talks were not that much different. It was refreshing to learn that cultural barriers stopped at intergalactic affairs. 

Kirk was thumbing through the security arrangements on his pad. He adjusted his position in the chair, his frown deepening with intent, as he leaned forward a bit. Carol's scalp prickled in warning. She straightened herself up as well, trying to catch a glimpse from the corner of her eye at whatever had had the captain's fingers move so fast on the small screen.

“Sir,” Kirk whispered to the admiral, who shot him an annoyed look.

“James, not know,” Pike chided. 

Kirk opened his mouth to add something but missed his opportunity, when the Klingon general looked straight at them, his permanent scowl worsening. “What is the matter, Admiral? Don't you like hearing about the great exploits of the Klingon warriors in the war we have just won against you?”

Pike offered a small, polite smile. “No, general. It's certainly educational for us to find out that the Klingon Empire considers itself victorious in the recent war,” he said, a touch of irony in his otherwise placid, utterly innocent tone of voice. “Captain Kirk was just reviewing our security provisions.” 

Apparently, Carol had not been the only one on her guard and attempting to peer over Kirk's shoulder to what he had been studying so diligently. 

“Security?” Stex scoffed. “A true warrior never shies away from a fight.”

“That may be correct,” Spock chimed in. “But a warrior also comprehends the wisdom of taking precautions.”

Silence befell the Klingons, which allowed Kirk to say his piece. “I recommend we break off and move to a less exposed room. We can then form mixed teams and search the premises together.” 

“Your suggestion is not without merit, Captain Kirk,” Stex said not without surprise in his voice. “What do you say, Admiral?”

Pike was prevented from answering by a low hum permeating the air, filtering from the massive shades covering the windows behind them. 

“Clear the room,” Kirk shouted. 

The Klingons growled, frantically patting themselves for their weapons, but nobody at the table was armed. According to the deal made even before the conference, only the guards posted at the entrance point were permitted weapons. The Federation personnel had one hand-held phaser each and the Klingon security officers one disruptor per person. 

Carol jumped to her feet, ready to spring into action, but before she could do anything, the place filled with a blinding, violet light and the chamber was rocked by an explosion. She was propelled forward, hitting the collapsing table hard, her ears ringing. Someone was pulling her down and she rolled to her side, ducking in the narrow and relatively safe place protected by one half of the broken table. Admiral Pike was next to her, rapidly speaking in to his communicator, informing Sulu left acting captain aboard the Enterprise about the attack and requesting he beamed down reinforcements.

Confident he had that covered, she glanced the wide windows, now burst apart, deadly lasers shooting through the holes from the Orion interceptor profiled against the night sky. They wouldn't be safe there for long and she needed to get the admiral out as soon as possible. Letting adrenaline inject into her body a strength it didn't normally possess, she crawled behind the man and started to drag him towards the exit, careful to keep along the line of a fallen column. She had to hurry but also duck as much as possible. With his bad leg, the admiral would never make it out of the firing zone on his own. 

The fight progressed around her, rainbow-like colors erupting in the partially demolished chamber, amid the noise of phaser blasts, yelling and Klingon battle cries. Carol didn't let that distract her from the self-imposed mission of getting the admiral to safety, even as sweat ran down her back, her breathing grew labored and her muscles trembled with the effort and the tension in her body. Her eyes watered and in the commotion around her, it was nearly impossible to distinguish friend from foe or divine what exactly was happening.

They were almost in the corridor, when the a Coridan appeared before them, disruptor aimed at her rather than the admiral in her arms. In a flash of insight, she realized that whoever had attacked them wanted the high-ranking Starfleet officer alive. She was just in the way. And she was unarmed. With utmost certainty she understood that she was about to die. “No,” she ground out. Not now. Not like this. Not without a chance to fight back. Not while failing to protect a good and loyal man like Christopher Pike. 

The kill shot never. Someone grabbed the Coridan from behind, dropping him forcefully to the floor, wrestling the weapon from him in the process. “Who are you?” the alien mumbled, distraught. 

“Death,” Kati calmly replied and vaporized him. “For peaceful people, you sure get into a lot of fights,” she added, looking past the admiral to Carol. “Are you alright?”

Carol breathed in deeply, flummoxed by her unexpected survival. “We're fine. I need to get the admiral out of here.”

Kati knelt next to them and handed Carol the looted disruptor. Carol took it, aware that she needed it more than her Augment friend. 

“Yes, you do,” Kati confirmed, turning Pike on his back with brisk, clinical moves. “Or he might bleed to death.”

Carol was horrified to see that in her mad dash to get the man out of the line of fire, she had missed the growing blood stain marring the admiral's formal uniform on the left side of his torso. She couldn't even remember when he had been hit. With her enhanced senses, Kati had undoubtedly caught the scent of blood. 

“No,” Pike protested gaspingly. “We need to make sure Stex survives, if we want to have a prayer of convincing the Klingons we didn't do this.”

Kati looked over her shoulder at the fury of the battle still raging in the half-destroyed conference room then turned her head to look Carol in the eye. “I'll go. What am I looking for?”

Carol thought fast. The admiral would object, but they could not afford to waste any more time in the exposed corridor, especially now that she knew her superior was wounded. She knew Kati was just trying to protect her from walking into danger again, but loathe as Carol was to let the other woman fight her battles for her, the Starfleet officer also recognized that the Augment had a much better chance at rescuing the Klingon general than her. 

“Tall, Klingon, one-armed,” Carol rasped and Kati nodded, getting to her feet.

But she did not go far. In the blink of an eye they found themselves surrounded by armed aliens, mostly but exclusively Orions, who had beamed in the corridor out of nowhere. Despite the odds, Carol raised her disrupter to fire but missed her chance, when Kati grabbed her, lifted her bodily off the floor and ducking the shots fired at her, threw her into a far wall, expertly having cut a pathway through their enemies.

“Nooo,” Carol screamed, as some of the Orions jumped on Kati right before they all beamed away.

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's still reading this series, please let me know what you think! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Captain's log. Supplemental. We have confirmed that the attack on the Federation-Klingon conference on the Theta IX to be the work of the Orion Syndicate, which at least has the advantage of not plunging us into another war. Our losses include two security officers, while others have sustained various injuries Doctor McCoy is tending to. Unfortunately, the attack culminated in the abduction of Admiral Christopher Pike. We do know yet know why, as no ransom demands have been sent to us. Right now we... I fear the worst. 

As for the Klingons, three of them are dead as well. General Stex isn't among them thanks to the quick reaction of my first officer, Mister Spock. My final report of this incident will see him recommended for a commendation for his role in the events. As a matter of fact, my entire crew performed admirably tonight... with no exceptions.

I have notified the Commander-in-Chief, Admiral Barnett, of what happened and he set the fleet on high alert, ordering them to be on the look-out for the Orion interceptor having escaped from the planetoid. Stex claims the Empire did the same. 

There was, however, a third party present at the hotel tonight, whether by accident or on purpose, I do not yet know. But I will find out. Luckily, I know just who to ask.

Kirk out. 

# # #

The Theta IX planetoid was too far from any star to enjoy much natural light. Its prolonged days and well-lit, short nights were the product of the life-support system sustaining the city built on its surface. Slipping through the fingers on the medical personnel beamed down from the Enterprise and taking advantage of McCoy's being busy trying to wrestle Jim Kirk into a medical exam, Carol skidded across the paved cul-de-sac in front of the bombed hotel. Either way, she had nothing worse than a few scratches and bruises, while others were in greater need of medical attention. The air was nearly unbreathable, heavy with the smell of smoke mixed in the too strong odor of the flowers in the public gardens surrounding the building. 

“Otto,” she called to the man standing with his back to her, his upturned profile focused on the darkness of space beyond the dome. He whirled around at her approach, concern apparent on his face. 

“I'm sorry,” she said. 

The man just shrugged off her regret. “Kati told me she had run into you and that she was worried, because you were hiding something and looked on edge. But since we realized it had something to do with your work in Starfleet, there wasn't much we could do besides keeping an eye out for you. Besides, we were here to arrange a settlement. These aliens were are in talks with used to be slaves to an intergalactic crime syndicate.”

“The Orion Syndicate,” she muttered, as his words began to sink in. 

He nodded. “Some of them are recent run-aways and among other things, they told us of rumors they heard from their masters about a secret conference held so that the your Federation and some other power in the quadrant could take joint action against them. It didn't take me and Kati long to put two and two together.”

“You were here to warn me?”

He pursed his lips together, inching himself closer to her. “The last thing we want is to end up entangled with Starfleet again, but we couldn't leave you in harm's way.”

“Thank you, Otto, but... .” She sighed, not knowing what to say in order not to seem ungrateful. Kati was her best friend among the Augments and she had gotten along well with Otto, but this sense obligation they had to her made her very uncomfortable. But now, in the aftermath of an attack and with both Kati and Admiral Pike in the hands of the Orions, she had no time to waste getting to the bottom of it, no matter how much it chafed. “It might be too much to ask,” she began warily. “But could we talk to these former Orion slaves?”

He winced. “These people have been enslaved, persecuted or on the run their whole lives. They don't trust any type of authority. You're welcome to come and ask your questions, but just don't mention you're in Starfleet.”

She nodded, the question she dreaded the most burning in her mind. “Does he know?” she murmured as if to herself. 

Otto heard her anyway. “I just told him.”

Carol drew her lower lip into her mouth, further hesitating. “When will he be here?”

# # #

Christopher Pike found himself on his back, the pain in his left side devolving frighteningly fast into numbness, on what looked like the transporter pad of an Orion interceptor. He could feel the blood soaking through his uniform and his head swam, but he fought to stay awake. He would have made an attempt at getting up, but he didn't want to appear even weaker to the enemies currently training disruptors on him, as he was certain his legs didn't have a hope of holding him.

The woman who had been accidentally taken with him had no such problems. She was standing, eyes ablaze with fury, the expression on her elegant features one of pure resolve. There was something about her that seemed familiar, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He was certain he had never met her before but he had undoubtedly seen her previously. He had a fairly decent memory of faces. Another thing he was good of was recognizing fellow Starfleet officers and she definitely wasn't one of them, despite her impressive fighting skills, which also stressed her position as an outsider. There was a precise, instinctual viciousness to her blows that could have never come from Starfleet training. 

Their sudden captivity didn't baffle her. Her serenity didn't waver and a slight, contemptuous smile graced her full, pale pink lips. The strike came so fast Pike hadn't even had the chance to see it. The two Orions now lying on the floor seemed to have had the same disadvantage. Before they fell, he could swear he had heard the sicking crack of broken bones. 

“Enough!” a voice intoned loudly in command from somewhere in the shadows. The female stepping closer was a Ruddy Orion with deep orange skin and wearing a fantastic, jewelry-encrusted white wig. “Stop,” she addressed his unlikely companion. “Or he dies,” their captor added indicating Pike still sprawled helplessly on the transporter pad.

The human standing next to him tilted her head to the side, assessing the newcomer coolly. “He's wounded. He'll die, anyway,” she answered, her voice all the more chilling as it was perfectly contained, no feeling tainting his reply. A good judge of characters, Pike realized she meant every word. This woman truly did not care whether he lived or died. 

The Orion female spared him a glance before her wide, violet eyes roved back to the other woman. “Then we'll kill you,” she said with equal tranquility. 

The woman smiled sardonically. “It doesn't matter whether I live or die. You are all dead anyway.”

“Why? Because Starfleet will come after us?”

“I am not Starfleet,” the woman said archly, for the first time her voice betraying sentiment. She sounded almost offended by the assumption.

“Then what are you, human?” the Orion persisted. 

“I'm not human, either!”

“Is that so?” the alien female asked skeptically walking among her armed confederates to get closer. “What are you?” she continued emphatically. 

The woman on the pad next to him stood her ground. “Something else.”

A memory fought its way through the haze Christopher's mind kept threatening to descend into. James' report of the Botany Bay incident included holographic images of all the superhumans found on board. He couldn't be completely certain, but from the physical strength the woman displayed, her reactions to being assumed to be in Starfleet or human and her knowing Carol Marcus, it was a good bet that he had been abducted together with an Augment. He didn't know whom he should lament most: himself or the Orions. 

“Alright, something else,” the pirate leader said. “You'll be escorted to a holding cell.” Next he inclined her head in his direction. “Take him to the infirmary. Make sure he doesn't die.”

“No,” the Augment objected, her tone casual in protest. “I'm going with him.”

The Orion eyed her carefully. “I thought you didn't care whether he lives or dies.”

“I don't, but I'm friends with someone who does and if possible, I'd rather not see her cry.”

The Orion female glanced at one of her men briefly. The Augment dodged the first few blasts, but by the third she dropped heavily to the floor. He struggled to lift his upper body to gauge whether they had killed her or if she was merely stunned. 

“She's not dead,” the Orion said as if in answer to his unspoken question. Her eyes swept over him. “I need you both alive for what I have planned... Admiral Pike.”

“Starfleet will never negotiate for my return,” he said sharply, the effect undercut by his short breath. He was already being lifted up and laid down on a stretcher. 

“We'll see,” she said. “I suppose you're going to tell me her people, whoever they are, won't negotiate for her return, either.”

“No,” Pike retorted grimly, mentally revisiting both James' and Spock's notes about the astounding familiar devotion the Augments shared. “They'll just kill you all. If I were you, I'd be requesting asylum in Federation space by now.”

# # #

Kirk had narrowly escaped the clutches of Bones' scanners, when the Klingon general had requested to see him and so Spock had come and rescued him from a particularly nasty hypospray threat. The young captain chose to focus on anger and the necessity to track down the Orions rather than the constantly surging feeling of despondency. The man, who was the closest thing he had to a father, had been abducted, while he had been fighting to protect a former enemy only a wall away.

Then the Orion interceptor had slipped away into the immensity of a hostile galaxy, leaving him burdened with treading carefully around the Klingons instead of charging after it, like his first instinct had told him to. To add insult to injury, he also had to deal with the pervasive presence of the Augments and his nagging doubts about Carol Marcus. 

Stex was in his quarters in the hotel, under heavily armed guard, though the man himself did not appear to be that affected by the fire fight had just been caught in. But then with the Klingons, one never knew for sure. Kirk bit back on the bile raising in his throat, his stomach twisting unpleasantly, as his fears and questions about Chris' safety and location pushed against the fragile lid he had slammed down on them in order to keep his wits around himself and conduct an effective search and rescue. 

The Klingon enveloped him and Spock in a speculative look. “Captain Kirk... Commander Spock, thanks to you I avoided the dishonor of capture. I will seek to return this service by pledging my very own help in finding Admiral Pike.”

“I assure you, General, that the expression of gratitude is unnecessary, yet not unwelcome,” Spock said soft, calculated tone. “However, may I ask if we are to understand from your words that the Klingon High Council will not be equally forthcoming with its assistance?”

The Klingon looked away. “Not for lack of wanting.” His eyes drifted back to the two commanding officers of the Enterprise. “Our border outposts have managed to track the Orions for a while, as they navigated just outside our frontiers. But they cowardly ran from a fight with us.”

Kirk felt the bottom of his stomach drop, as an idea began to form in his mind. “But you know where they're headed, don't you?”

“Captain... they went to the one place where you or my people cannot go!”

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review, if you've read! Thank you. :)


	5. Chapter 5

“The Romulan Neutral Zone?” Admiral Barnett said in disbelief.

“Yes, Admiral,” Spock confirmed. “It is not logical, however, to assume that the Romulans themselves are supporting the Orion Syndicate. The latter could be taking advantage of the latent conflicts in the quadrant to hide on planets they know any of the major powers cannot go to without the risk of all-out war.”

On the small view screen in the captain's ready room aboard the Enterprise, the head of Starfleet winced. “They're right. The latest war depleted the Klingons' resources as much as it did with ours. They wouldn't risk provoking the Romulans. I could try and address the Federation Council about this, but even if we requested permission from the Romulan government to enter that area, there's no way they'd believe this is a simple rescue mission. And to be frank, I'm more worried about what they'd do, if they did believe us. A Starfleet admiral would be worth as much to them as to the Orion Syndicate. We could actually put Pike in greater danger, if we made that request.”

Kirk was shifting in his seat, acutely aware that they were wasting Chris' preciously little time, as they were speaking. “Sir, Starfleet can't go after him, but I can. Please, Sir,” he begged. 

The admiral leaned back studying him intently, as if trying to read his mind though the light-years distance separating them. “I cannot under any circumstances give you permission to go after him, Captain Kirk. Nor can I promise that we will negotiate for his return. To do so will signal all our enemies that we're weak. It'll be like declaring open season on the Federation.”

Kirk swallowed, gearing to fight for the right to go get his friend back, if need be. “Sir, I'm not asking for permission. In fact, I'm not even telling you that I would ask a few selected members of my crew to accompany me on a strictly voluntary basis.”

The admiral cocked his head to the side, a faint smile grazing his lips. “Given your unorthodox time at the Academy and all the reasons you gave Chris to defend you over the years, I expected nothing less. He always insisted you were one of our best and if anyone could pull this off, I guess that'd be you. But before you commit to anything, you have to understand this: we cannot authorize you to use any of our ships, much less the Enterprise, and should you be killed or captured, we will say you went rogue and acted on your own. So think long and hard about this!”

Kirk spared a quick look to the floor, doing his best impression of pondering his already made decision, while praying that Spock, who knew him too well for comfort, would not give him away. To his surprise, the Vulcan kept silent. Jim looked his superior in the eye then. “I understand, Sir, and take full responsibility for my actions.”

“Alright then. In the meantime, we'll open an internal investigation to find out if the leak about the conference came from us. As for that ship you'll need... .”

“With all due respect, Sir, you don't want to know.”

“I was just about to say that.” A second smile chased some of the sobriety on the admiral's face. “Then go get him home!”  
# # #

Once Admiral Barnett clicked off, Kirk turned to his slightly frowning first officer. “Before you say anything, Mister Spock... I know: you object. Noted. You don't have to come along.”

The scowl vanished off the Vulcan's face. “On the contrary, Captain, I simply wished to say that if I could be of assistance, I would be happy to accompany you to the Romulan Neutral Zone.”

Jim thought that stranger things than his complicated friend's most recent statement had to have happened, but for the life of him he could not think of any in the heat of the moment. “Happy? You?”

“I was simply attempting to use your vernacular to convey an idea,” Spock replied with a slight, teasing smile. 

Today was very weird day for Jim. Yet he could not help but return Spock's smile, a lump threatening to form in his throat. He and Spock might bicker and disagree, but when the push came to shove, they were always there for each other. Besides, we would take Spock's constant objections over a yes-man any day; his first officer kept him on his toes that way and had prevented him from many an unfit decision. “Thank you, Mister Spock,” he said earnestly. 

“That being said, I must object to your other course of action.”

Apparently, the time for miracles for over. Kirk sighed. “Fine. Lay it on me.”

Spock started then stopped, seemingly puzzled, but before Jim could explain his meaning, the Vulcan spoke again. “Since we cannot take any Starfleet vessel and as an Augment was kidnapped along with Admiral Pike, it is logical to assume that Khan will also make an attempt at rescuing her. This indicates that you plan to ally yourself with him in complete disregard of our past dealing with him and make use of his control of the Vengeance.”

“Spock, I don't like this any more than you do, but right now Khan and us, we're on the same side. Enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

Spock opened his mouth to retort, but Jim had an uncommon upper hand on this. “If you tell me one more time what happened to the author of this quote, I'm not taking you on any more illegal missions that could get us killed,” Kirk finished genially.

Spock stared at him in such astonishment, that Jim briefly feared that this pronouncement had been so profoundly illogical that it had fried the poor Vulcan's neatly-ordered brain cells.

# # #

“You wanted to see me, Captain?” Carol asked upon entering the ready room.

Kirk gestured to the chair on the other side of his desk. “The Klingons tracked the Orion ship holding Admiral Pike hostage and since Spock saved General Stex' honor, he agreed to use his influence in their High Council to get them to turn a blind eye to any rescue party taking a shortcut through their space to his location. That won't be a problem. The destination, however, is somewhere in the Romulan Neutral Zone. I don't think I need to tell you that there can never be any official mission in that direction.”

The woman before him scrunched her eyes shut. When she opened them again, the deep blue orbs held a maelstrom of emotions he could not have a hope of reading entirely. “Then you called me here to discuss an unofficial one? Or maybe a substitute for pistol and ball?”

She had him at a disadvantage. “What?”

An odd smile touched her lips and she made a dismissive gesture with her left hand. “Nothing. A quote... . You need a ship and if you can't take this one, you'll want the Vengeance, especially considering that we don't know what kind of resistance we'd encounter and we run the serious risk of coming across one or more Romulan birds of prey out to investigate who just trespassed into the Neutral Zone.”

“Carol, I know how this will come across in the light of our conversation of only a few hours ago, but I wouldn't ask, if I had any other alternative or at least, more time. I'm not inquiring if you're friends with Khan or anything else of personal nature, but still you probably know him better than any of us. So I want your opinion: will he agree to an alliance with us on this?”

“Absolutely not,” she replied without hesitation. “But if he has to go all the way to Hell and punch the Devil in the face to recover a member of his family, he would do it. That and the fact that you know where to find the Orions is your edge.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Carol,” he said gratefully. “One more thing: you said you spoke with one of his people. Is Khan here already?”

She got her feet. “He should have just arrived.”

Something nagged at him, as they rapidly walked down the the corridor, heading for the transporter room. “That quote from earlier,”he began. “Where was it from?”

“Moby Dick,” she said quietly. 

“Never quite liked that one. I mean, don't get me wrong, Melville's style's great, but there's too much talk of wrath and obsession in it for my taste.”

She pointedly not looked at him, as she answered as if from afar. “It grows on you.”

# # #

The hotel she knew the Augments to be at did a fine job at copying a 19th century English manner, though on the inside, it did look more futuristic and was decorated with fantastically-colored alien plants spilling from niches carved into the walls. Carol and Kirk took the turbo lift to the penthouse. Otto was already standing on the other side, clearly expecting them, the moment the doors sprang open. He regaled her with a welcoming smile but did not so much as bother to glance in Kirk's direction. 

Khan had undoubtedly been waiting for them, which did not bode well for the fact that he did nothing for free and could read them like the books he loved so much, while none of them, not even she, who had spent two years living in close quarters with him, had much of an insight into what was going on in his head. Frankly, she had been surprised that Kirk had not taken Mister Spock along, since from what she had gathered, the Vulcan had a better track record in terms of not being easily lead by the cunning Augment. 

Carol herself did not know from what angle to approach this. A part of her desperately wanted to trust him, prompting her rational side to warn her that her conflicting feelings for Khan were a blatant disadvantage in the captain's risky plan to ally himself with the Augment. Over the past year she had not even conceived ever seeing Khan again. She had always assumed that avenue was forever closed to her. 

She suspected, though, that no amount of preparation could have readied her for this momentous occurrence. Burying the unstable mix of regrets, anger and tenderness under the urgency of the situation, practical concerns and her worry over the fate of both Admiral Pike and Kati seemed like her only option to present him with a tranquil facade. The downside was that it was highly probable that he would see through her effort. 

Kirk's obvious distress did nothing to improve her confidence. He had flunked all of McCoy's attempts at a medical exam in favor of focusing on tracking down the ship having kidnapped Pike, which was understandable and she sympathized with him, but realistically she knew Khan would instantly read Kirk's personal stakes in the matter on human's tired, sunken and still bruised face. It made her painfully aware of how removed their humanity was from Khan and how pitiable they had to appear in his eyes. 

Technically, it should have been a simple quid pro quo: Khan had the ship; they had the location and the guaranteed speedy passage through Klingon space and everyone else got plausible deniability. But if her time with Khan had taught her anything was that where he was concerned, nothing was ever simple. 

The former prince stood by a set of wide, concave windows displaying the brightly-lit city below. He was dressed in his dark, cloak-like coat, despite being indoors, clearly prepared to leave at a moment's notice. He turned and Carol felt as if the all air had been sucked out of her lungs at once. It was like slipping through a time travel portal. He looked exactly the same: dark hair swept back, face sculptured as if from marble, stormy eyes the color of the Andromeda galaxy, his expression both self-contained and imperious. Her being star-struck did not last for more than a second.

Khan ignored her to focus the full power of the contempt his gaze was so good at communicating on Kirk. She had all but forgotten how jarring that could be. In an instant she was nearly blind with fury and fending off the irrational instinct to throw herself between him and the captain. From the corner of her eyes, she spied Kirk's reaction, doing her best to reign in her concern for him. To his credit, Kirk did not look at all intimidated.

“Captain,” Khan said. One word. Uttered crisply in the soft, low voice drenched in condescension. 

Carol had never wanted to hit someone more than she did in that moment. The only thing that stopped her was that knowledge that it would have no impact on Khan, even in the extremely unlikely situation in which her punch would connect, and it would only served to humiliate them further. Jim did not deserve this amount of scorn. He was a good captain, despite his young years, and much like Khan, he would gladly die for his crew. He had just been through a war that had cost him the lives of many of his crewmen, yet he had thrown himself full-heartedly into making the peace-effort possible, only to have that snatched from him along with his mentor. 

Jim disregarded the veiled insult. “I don't have time for this, so let's skip right to the chase: I know where the Orions took Admiral Pike and your fellow Augment and it's somewhere Starfleet can't authorize a formal mission to for geopolitical reasons so I'm here for the Vengeance. I could offer to trade the information for a trip aboard that gala, but I've met you before. I know you're not gonna make it that easy,” Jim blurted out, doing fine in terms of keeping his composure and not at all deluding himself about Khan's character. “What's it gonna cost me?” he asked tightly, raising his voice only a little towards the end, as his irritation at having to bargain with Khan slipped through his defenses. 

Carol drew herself straighter, when Khan's eyes flickered to her, as if Kirk had not spoken at all or was not deigned worthy enough of his attention. The derision was gone from his face, yet while his gaze was no longer steely, it had not changed enough to be considered gentle, either. Carol glared back defiantly. A vague hint of a smile played on his lips. 

“Leave her out of it,” Kirk snapped. 

“You brought her here, Captain,” Khan retorted, his voice calm, yet his tone was pure acid, still looking at her.

“She can hear you two and speak for herself,” she interjected, unwilling to be treated like a piece of furniture. 

Unbidden a dark thought entered her mind: what if Kirk had brought her here to see her reaction to Khan and gauge where her loyalties lay, while at the same time attempting to shake the Augment implacable confidence by introducing into the equation someone the captain suspected him of being vulnerable to. Khan had seemed to imply it. But if that were true, how much could she blame Kirk for it, when she was herself so full of doubts?

“Nothing,” Khan said all of the sudden. “It will cost you nothing, Kirk,” he added finally shifting his attention away from her and back to the captain, iron-clad disregard creeping back into his baritone. “You will, however, supply the crew, since I have no interest in risking the lives of my people, when yours are available, and remember that aboard the Vengeance, I am captain!”

Carol blatantly turned to look at Kirk, wondering if he was desperate enough to accept it. 

Kirk raised his brows, matching Khan's scorn with one of his own. “And you're doing this out of the goodness of your heart?”

Khan almost smiled again. “Captain, what is it that matters to you the most: why I'm willing to cooperate or that I'm cooperating?”

“Fine,” Kirk spat. “You've got a deal!”

 

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Christopher was awoken by a moan followed by a heavy, exasperated sigh. Opening his eyes was a struggle and when he finally managed to do so, his vision was fuzzy and inundated with an eerie, greenish light. When that didn't go away, no matter how much he blinked, he realized he was not hallucinated it... or the exceptionally low ceiling. He was dizzy, nausea raising in his throat. He was no longer in pain, yet his body felt limp and he experienced a distressing needles and pins sensation in his left side. But at least his breathing seemed easier. He wriggled his legs and was relieved to have feeling back in them, even as his right one was still off. 

His memory was uncertain for a few seconds, before he started to recall being taken to a little, ill-equipped infirmary that smelled rather foul. He had drifted in and out of consciousness after that, as the Orion physician had prodded at him, amply demonstrating his lack of knowledge of how to treat a human. As far as Pike could tell, though, the alien had meant to heal him rather than intentionally inflict pain. From the snatches of conversation he had overheard, he got the distinct impression than if the Syndicate failed to bargain with the Federation for his release, then they planned to sell him to the highest bidder, which came as no surprise. The secrets locked in the head of a Starfleet admiral would be worth a fortune. 

Before he could worry about his fate and preventing any enemy from using some novel technology to peek into his mind, he first had to investigate who seemed to be suffering in the cage-like cell he had been put in. Clumsily supporting himself on his uninjured side, he half-sat up on the hard, narrow sliver of metal he was laid upon. He had no pillow and no sheet, just a scratchy blanket of some sorts hastily thrown over the lower half of his body. 

The wall opposite from him had a similar bench attached to it. The Augment woman sat on it with her head in her hands. Pike looked her over quickly. She didn't appear to be injured and there was no blood stain on the Andorian-style jumpsuit she wore. 

“Head-ache,” she muttered. “I've never had a head-ache before. What is in these people's stun setting, anyway?”

A memory flickered in Christopher's mind. “I think they drugged you to make sure you wouldn't suddenly wake, as they took a blood sample. They could be trying to determine what you are.”

His words were met with another sigh, as she looked at him with owlish eyes. He frowned, worrying about the side effects of an unknown alien drug on her. “How are you feeling?” he wanted to know.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she said standing up and crossing the tiny space between them in the blink of an eye, two fingers pressing into the pulse point in his neck, before he was even aware of what she was doing. 

“I am fine,” he mumbled, not trying to draw back. In his state he wouldn't get far and additionally, he saw no reason to, as her intentions didn't seem threatening. 

She arched a skeptical brow at him. “That's not what your too low pulse is saying. Not to mention that I think you're running a bit of a fever.” Her lips thinned, as she appeared to be mulling something over. “Some of my blood would go a long way in improving your condition, but I don't believe this is a place where we can risk sending your body into the shock of a transfusion, even if these people knew how to synthesize the serum it's apparently needed for humans to borrow our regenerating abilities. And unlike Khan, I'm not a universal donor, so that might be a problem, too.”

It seemed as though they both operated with the same level of knowledge of the events from a year ago involving former Admiral Marcus' illegal operation in the Ceti Alpha system. At least, he knew where he stood on that. 

“I thought you didn't care whether I live or die,” he said coolly, studying her face to a reaction to his statement. There was none.

She pivoted on a heel and returned to her own bed, from where she gathered up her own blanket. “Nothing personal. It's just that with very few exceptions I generally don't like humans. I'm sure you feel the same way about my kind.”

He watched as she bundled the blanket and arranged it so that it would support his torso's slanted position but didn't stop her. “I don't even know you,” he said. 

She backed away from him again, her eyes assessing and her expression aloof. “But you know what I am?”

He nodded. “Someone's genome is not a reason to dislike them in my book.” Her face hardened at his words, but he pressed on, unabated. “Since we haven't been introduced yet, I'm Christopher Pike. Nice to meet you.” With that he extended his hand to her.

She regarded him severely for a moment or so and then stared at his hand as if it were about to bite her. Just when he thought she wouldn't take it, she reached out and perfunctorily squeezed his fingers, her eyes narrowing in challenge. “Kati,” she said curtly, sitting back on the bed and drawing her right leg up to her chest. “I am Kati.”

He had no conclusive clues to base his assumption on, but Chris still had the distinct impression that his open gesture had made her somehow defensive in a way being captured and threatened with death hadn't. 

# # #

“Did he hit his head?” McCoy wanted to know, eyebrows arched beyond what it seemed physically possible, his entire body postured signaling the depth of his disagreement. “Wait,” he added, turning to Spock. “You've talked him out of less insane things. Where are your logical objections to the one that's really out there with the worst of them?”

“Doctor, under the circumstances, the captain's solution, albeit hazardous in certain points, is our best option of rescuing the admiral,” Spock replied in his best reasonable voice. 

“Look, Bones, we're a bit short on time here. You coming with us or not?”

“Someone sane gotta be on board with you, when this goes south.”

“Lieutenant Uhura, Lieutenant Marcus, Lieutenant Sulu, Mister Scott and Ensign Chekhov have also volunteered for this mission.”

McCoy rolled his eyes then squeezed them shut before finally looking like he was for all intents and purposes about to repeatedly bang his head against the bulk head. “Congratulations, Jim,” he groused. “You took a handful of sane, promising young officers and managed to drive them all completely and utterly crazy.” He stabbed his finger in the general direction of the air before the Enterprise's first officers. “If we get back from this, the whole lot of you is scheduled for psych evaluation... and I'm due a heavy-duty prescription of Romulan ale.”

Spock's left eyebrow climbed up. “As you are well aware, Doctor, Romulan ale is, in fact, illegal.”

Bones cast him a dirty look. “You didn't even try and talk him out of this, Spock, so you don't get to lecture me from now into the next month.” 

# # #

Chief Helmsman's Log. Personal. I am recording this addendum to my personal log to supplement the farewell message to my family already in existence. I am leaving specific instruction that they both be handed to my parents and sisters upon my demise and/or being declared missing in action. I realize that if this ends badly, my loved ones will not be hearing the best things about myself and my fellow officers aboard the Enterprise, however, I want you all to know that I firmly believe this is the right thing to do and that I hold no regrets. After going to war with them and embarking on a unique five-years mission, I can safely state that I could not have asked for a better ship, a better captain of better people to serve with.

Sulu out.

# # # 

The K'Normian ship recovered from the Mudd incident floated through space keenly aiming for the Vengeance waiting for them not far away from the Theta IX planetoid. The former Federation ship looked as huge, menacing and dark as the last time she had seen her. A frisson of discomfort traveled through Carol at the memory, making her even antsier than she already was. She did her best to banish those thoughts. It would not do to remember that she had once been clinically dead, right before embarking on a very dangerous mission. 

She had yet to come to terms with that intermission in her life. She had no recollection of the two weeks between the explosion she had been caught in on Ceti Alpha VI and waking up back on Earth, save for the few jumbled dreams she had had before her recovery. Only her medical file brought a sense of reality to it: she had had no pulse, no heartbeat and she had not been breathing. Only her brain had pulsed with a few dying waves and then the cryotube had encased her in its icy spell.

It might not have existed. It should have not happened. She should be dead and buried for over a year. Yet she wasn't. And the journey away from the Enterprise and to the Vengeance might as well have been one back in time. The closer they got, the farther away her return to Starfleet drifted. She was not even wearing her uniform anymore. Nobody on the K'Normian ship did, as they were all dressed no differently than the members of the many small ragtag groups of smugglers and traders that wandered through the galaxy in search of a menial living. Nothing tied them to Starfleet anymore: their communicators were unregistered and their disruptors and plasma rifles had been confiscated at some point or the other from arms dealers. 

The docking bay of the Vengeance opened for them, like a murky cavern about to swallow them whole. Carol took a look around her: the captain was lost in thought; Uhura was concerned; McCoy looked even more disgruntled than his usual, which was saying a lot; Chekhov was staring around wide-eyed; Sulu seemed resolved. Scotty was positively thrumming with bubbling energy. Though Carol didn't doubt the genuine nature of his motivations, she also had the distinct impression he had been dying to peek into the Vengeance's engine room since his first glance of the ship. Only Mister Spock stayed unperturbed.

Despite her origin, the Vengeance still looked and felt like the complete opposite of everything the Federation and Starfleet represented. The docking bay was enormous and littered with shuttles that had been specially developed for her. The narrow corridors were dark and only intermittently lit by cobalt blue halos. It was all very fitting for the Augments. The ship was glaringly obviously Khan's brain-child: honed to perfection as a battle cruiser, sophisticatedly crafted yet disguising deadly intent in her dark beauty. Even with his reluctance to attach sentimental value to objects, she couldn't help but wonder if he didn't see the Vengeance as the ideal weapon for him. 

The alien character of the Vengeance bore down on the Enterprise officers. Except for Spock, they all appeared to be woefully out of their depth in ways space exploration, with all its perils, never made them. Their pushing against the final frontier came with the fail-safe of being able to call on Starfleet for support on any given time and the comforting knowledge that they could always retreat back to the safety of their bright and welcoming Enterprise. 

The towering underbelly of the Vengeance gave off no such sense of security. If anything, one could feel more ill at ease aboard that ship than on the surface on a previously unknown planet. There also would be no recourse to Starfleet for reinforcements and no assurances, as they had to stick to the very strict course the Klingons had confined them to while they trekked through their space. The smallest sign of veering off route could get them shot down. And that was before reaching the pure uncharted menace of the Romulan Neutral Zone. 

The other problem with the Vengeance was that Section 31, in their haste to keep anyone from proving its existence, had wiped out any trace of the ship's designs from the records. The little they knew from their previous entanglement with her helped even less. Khan had projected her to be structurally different by comparison with any other ship design in the fleet and labyrinth-like in her architecture, in order to make any take-over that much more difficult. Carol herself was certain Khan would not allow them unmitigated access to the computers aboard so right off the bat they would even have to rely on him for something as menial as directions to find their way around. 

Carol was beginning to understand why Khan had so readily agreed to supply the Vengeance for this mission and not insisted on taking other Augments along. His intimate knowledge of the ship coupled with the year he had at his disposal to install various surprises aboard gave him absolute home ground advantage. Fine psychologist that he was, he had probably also anticipated how unsettled they would feel cast from the safe haven of Starfleet and the Enterprise. 

Nobody waited for them. The Vengeance had been designed to be flown by one person, if necessary, but that person had to be on the bridge for that to work. Once they left immensity of the shuttle bay, they found themselves meandering into a senseless maze of hallways. 

“I don't know about you,” Scotty began grimly, his initial excitement already starting to fade. “But I'd rather been on a Klingon bird of prey than on this thing.” 

Nobody answered him, but judging by the look on their faces, the all agreed. Even Mister Spock seemed puzzled by the illogical nature of the construction around them. Then Khan's low, infuriatingly steady baritone came resounding over the communication system.

“Your quarters are on Deck Five. Take the turbo lift at the end of the second corridor to your left. You will find maps of the ship on the data slates inside. Once you you've settled in, feel free to join me on the bridge.”

“This must be really funny to him,” McCoy griped in the silence that followed. 

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment, if you will. :)


	7. Chapter 7

Despite the difference in sizes between the Enterprise and the Vengeance, the living quarters on the latter were considerably smaller and spartan-looking. The miniature en suite bathroom only had the sonic option for the showers. Every military ration in existence was programmed in the replicator. Carol hated those as much as the next person, but after barely getting any sleep and all the stress both her mind and body had endured since Kati's and Pike's abduction, she figured she could use the the boost of the minerals and vitamins in them, vile-tasting as they were. 

She washed the rations she had managed to stomach with some silicone-tasting synthesized coffee and regretting not having the option of splashing cold water on her face, she grabbed the PADD Khan had deigned to grant her and made a dash for the bridge. As expected, their access to both the pad and the ship's computers was severely restricted by piled upon pile of security protocols, the subroutines of which had nothing in common with those used by Starfleet and had obviously been structured by the Augments. 

The Enterprise officers' arrival to the Vengeance's bridge was terse, increasing the trepidation Carol already felt. Their uneasiness was in no way improved the utter calm of Khan's demeanor. At first, he gave no indication of noticing them, too busy pressing on the data slate encased in the right arm of the command chair he occupied, a slight frown marring his features. The sight of him actually managed to settle Carol's nerves a bit, since she recognized that look from the two years they had spent working together on various projects. Though all he let them see was concentration, she could easily understand how someone who didn't know him at all would misconstrue that as a haughty form of ignoring them. 

When nobody spoke for a few tense seconds, Khan lifted his head. He leaned back in his chair like on a throne, using his slightly elevated position to gaze down at them imperiously. 

“I thought I included the position of the bridge stations in the information package on your pads. Do you need additional help finding them?” Khan asked in his best sarcastic voice. 

Now that he put it that way, they all looked stupid just standing there, but in truth, they had been anticipating a briefing of some sorts on the eve of such a delicate endeavor. 

“Well, this is an auspicious beginning,” McCoy grumbled. 

Khan didn't even glance in his direction, when he replied. “The medical bay is three decks bellow us, Doctor.”

McCoy didn't budge instead looking at Kirk expectantly. The captain of the Enterprise nodded. “It's alright, Bones. Do what he says.”

“The hell it's alright,” McCoy retorted but went. 

It was as if a spell had been broken. Sulu and a visibly nervous Chekov scampered to the navigation station. Uhura moved to communications with a defiant glare aimed at Khan, who paid her no heed. Carol herself strolled to defense and weapons and so did Spock with the command intelligence station. 

“Do you want me here on the bridge or in Engineering?” Scotty asked in a tone bordering on insubordination, eying his would-be console critically. 

Kirk shot him a pleading look, but the Chief only mouthed a “what?” in response. 

Khan ignored that one. “Engineering, Mr. Scott,” he commanded curtly, his eyes fixed on Kirk, though he did wait for Scotty to leave before talking again. “You said you know where the Orions took Kati and your admiral,” he told Jim in a casual, dry voice best used to discuss the weather. “Where are we going, Captain?”

Jim handed Sulu a data tape. “The Orion interceptor was tracked to the Romulan Neutral Zone. That's... .”

“... a light-year area of space between the Federation and a galactic power known as the Romulan Empire established in 2161 after the Earth-Romulan War,” Khan interrupted in a thick monotone. “Neither side can enter it without prior approval from the other or it would be considered an act of war, hence why Starfleet could not officially send you there, not even for the sake of the head of Strategic Operations Center.” He drew his lower lip into his mouth, making a non-committal noise in the back of his throat, as the entire bridge was staring at him in wonderment. “The starbase on our planet had a complete database on the state of the explored galaxy and I have an eidetic memory. This is how I know that we do not have time to waste exploring the Zone, if we are to mount a successful rescue. Tell me you have more exact coordinates than that.”

“The sensors of the outposts on our side of the border managed to track them to the 872 Trianguli star system,” Spock said serenely. “Its fifth planet used to house a Romulan colony, but it is now abandoned and therefore, would present a logical option for a base pertaining to the Orion Syndicate.” 

No sooner had he finished speaking, that Khan stood and stalked to type a few commands on the extensive console sprawled in front of the captain's chair. Carol sat higher in her chair catching a glimpse of the star map the Augment was studying. “The fastest way there is through Klingon space.”

“The Empire guaranteed us safe passage, no questions asked, if we stick to the route they set for us,” Kirk explained. “I just gave Mister Sulu the course for it.”

Khan's fingers flew over the screen before him. “Engineering, are we ready to go to warp?”

“With this core, any day,” came Scotty's disembodied and wryly impressed voice. 

Still half-bent over the console, Khan lifted his eyes to Sulu, who was warily gazing over his shoulder at their unlikely captain. “Warp 9.” Sulu's eyes widened comically, most likely just at the very idea of the speed this ship could reach. “Now,” Khan added in that cool, detached command voice he sometimes employed. 

Sulu opened his mouth but no words were forthcoming. Carol thought he had bit back the “yes, Sir” at the very last moment. Instead, the navigator just nodded and the ship started to maneuver to warp. Khan straightened up and stalked to the defense console. “Kirk, you have the bridge,” he threw over his shoulder before glancing at Carol herself. “I need to speak to you.”

“Alright,” she said not seeing any reason to refuse.

Khan had already started for the turbo lift, even before the word was out of her mouth. As she made to follow him, she caught Nyota's eye: the other woman looked at her with equal parts concern and encouragement. Carol nodded her thanks and hurried after Khan. 

# # #

“Weapons bay,” he ordered the second the elevator doors closed behind them. 

He turned to her then, wearing his approachable expression. To a casual observer, there wasn't much of a difference, but Carol had had two years to learn to learn the subtle changes in his demeanor. She had also had the chance to observe him interact with his people and notice the genuine warmth in his eyes, when he did. He wasn't quite there now, but he also did not display any of the disdain or sardonic aloofness he employed in relation with her colleagues from the Enterprise. 

“Carol,” he began in an almost deferential voice. “While I am aware that given our history, this might be unacceptable to you, I would like to request that we set the past aside and that we start anew as polite acquaintances.”

Of all the things she had awaited from him when they finally got a moment alone, that sentence had not been it. The second surprise came from his earnest and gracious tone. He had been tender, kind and cajoling with her in the past, but never before had he sounded so respectful. She recovered from her bewilderment fast, however, and in order to make up for it, her next words came out more biting than she had intended. 

“As you've already told Kirk, you're the captain of this ship and I have never been anything but courteous to my superior officers.”

His reaction astonished her even more than his previous statement. He looked down, seemingly chastened, briefly squeezing his eyes shut, the lines on his face deepening as he did. “I am sorry, Carol,” he said gently, his gaze flying to her face. His eyes were almost beseeching. “I didn't mean to imply you are unprofessional. Besides, I do not out rank you... on this ship or any other.”

His statement floored her. She had never before seen him uncertain or wavering. Not even in relationship with his people. Not even when he spoke to one of them as a friend or family member. He always knew what to say and what advice to give. He was never anything but perfectly confident and self-assured. She could not for the life of her fathom what had thrown him off balance like that. It was frightening to even consider what could do this to Khan! 

His apology was also odd. It wasn't that it had sounded insincere, on the contrary. But he had only once before apologized and even then it had seemed to take a great toll on him and he had confessed as well to it being the first time to ever utter the word sorry. Now it had come off almost naturally, which made the occurrence all the more staggering. 

The turbo lift doors were already open. She had no idea for how long they had been. 

“Please,” he said softly, gesturing towards the entrance to the weapons bay.

She went mutely, feeling as though she was advancing under water. “Lights 100%,” she muttered.

The vaguely blue-tinged darkness of the bay dissolved into a sparkling white light inundating the vast space. What the Vengeance lacked in room for living quarters, she more than made up in terms of the dimensions of the weapons area. There was a sea of long-range torpedoes and attack drones spreading in front of her in the immense hanger. Numerous lateral doors led to storage compartments for a large diversity of hand-held phasers, rifles and experimental weaponry of various dimensions and functionalities.

This was just the tip of the iceberg: the Vengeance also had elaborate phaser arrays and saucer mounted torpedo cannons. Additionally, protective armor plates could slid into place and cover the sensitive parts of the vessel, in case of an attack.

“Let me guess,” she said, unable to tear her gaze from the abundance of weapons before her, filled with both the excitement her job usually entailed and dark fascination. “You want me to update the internal guidance systems of the medium and long range torpedoes with mapping coordinates for the Romulan Neutral Zone.” 

“Not only that,” he replied, his voice coming off more even than in the elevator. “I want you to verify which weapons I can safely fire in that area while attracting minimal attention to the Vengeance's position. I have no desire to fight a battle on two or more fronts.”

She nodded and turned her head to look at him again. Whatever had caused his earlier slip was gone, his face schooled into a mask of laser-focused command. “Sun Tzu said that if you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. I know very little about the enemy and I have a crew with a history of shooting in the back,” he remarked conversationally, though a bitter note had slipped into his tone. “In the interest of returning us all alive, I intend to fight as little as possible.”

She smiled a little, incapable of preventing herself from it. Despite her profession of choice and her father's rather militaristic conceptions, she had always viewed Sun Tzu's The Art of War as more of a cultural monument rather than a practical hand-book. It was only in her interactions with Khan that the manual had come alive and she had started to appreciate the tactical genius behind it. This all felt so familiar, hearkening back to the long hours spent working together while she had been on Ceti Alpha V with him and the rest of the Augments. 

“He also said that the supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting,” she asserted. 

He gave her a small smile of recognition. “When possible,” he assured.”Let me know what you discover.”

“Khan,” she called after him. “If Kati hadn't come to warn me... .”

He shook his head firmly. “Otto told me what happened. You have nothing to blame yourself for. The two of them came to your aid out of the friendship you share.”

Warmth blossom in her chest, quickening her pulse. “We'll get her back,” she said firmly. 

He smiled again. “Yes, we will.” 

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed my fic. Please tell me what you think of this chapter as well.


	8. Chapter 8

The transition from the ship to the Orion base had been less than smooth, as Kati had tried to escape again and gotten herself stunned repeatedly for her trouble. Not that Christopher himself had made it through the incident unscathed, getting himself hit over the head with the but of a disruptor in the general confusion. His ears were still ringing from it. Kati had recovered just as they had entered the miserable yet massive compound made of scraps of mixed, probably stolen stolen technology. 

The corroded hallways smelled badly and were interrupted from place to place by minuscule cells that were no more than force fields surrounded cages. Aliens of various races were crowded inside, some in shackles, some not, some staring dejectedly away from each other, other huddled together. 

“Slave-traders,” Kati murmured.

“Yes,” he answered, compassion gripping at his heart.

Her reaction was the exact opposite: her eyes were blazing with hatred and a rage unlike anything he had ever witnessed in anyone before spread on her face, twisting her marmoreal features nearly beyond recognition. 

They were led to a far-away cell, at the end of a narrower, empty hallway. It was slightly bigger than the rest, with six beds stacked inside. To his surprise, their many and well-armed guards did not separate them and actually removed Kati's chains. He was unceremoniously dumped from the stretcher onto one of the lowest beds, his bumping into the hard metal they were made of reawakening the sharp ache in his left side. A dermal regenerator was thrown at Kati's feet right before the Syndicate members basically ran out of the cell. 

“Tend to him,” a green Orion ordered. 

Then the force field fell over the entrance. Kati glared after them for a little under a minute before picking up the regenerator and coming to sit on the edge of his bed. Cool, dry fingers lightly palpated the swelling on his temple. “Am I hurting you?” she asked. 

With some effort he refrained from wincing. “I've had worse,” he admitted. The memory of living, squirming creatures crawling inside his cranium aboard the Nerada gave him nightmares to this day. 

She gingerly ran the regenerator over his bruised skin. “Speaking of worse... or better, one of the things they gave you must've finally worked. Your fever is down. Still we should work on keeping you awake, just as a precaution. Especially after the recent blow to the head.”

He hesitated, not sure how to break the news to her. Though nothing about her indicated fragility and he was the wounded one, she was still a civilian and he still felt the urge to protect her. “Kati... I think you should know. I speak Orion and from what I've overheard, they've taken us to the Romulan Neutral Zone. Starfleet can't mount a rescue here without risking a war.”

“Starfleet may not be able to, but that's not the case with Khan,” she said placidly, the pads of her fingers pressing harder into his temple that no longer hurt. “Better?” she asked.

He nodded and thanked her. She put the regenerator away and helped arrange the raggedy blanket over him. 

“You have that much faith in him,” he observed. 

“Faith, certainty...,” she commented casually seating herself on the bed across the room from him. “I've known him all my life... or at least, the part of it that I remember. He's more than a commander to us. We're family and we always looked out for each other. And he looked out for us all.”

Christopher could relate. The speech about the importance of Starfleet he used to give the recruits was not just talk to him. His relationship with Starfleet had been the center of his life for many years, the maker and breaker of any other personal connections. It came as no surprise that the closest thing he had to a son was the troublesome, yet kind-hearted child of a hero of the Federation.

“What about you?” she wanted to know, though her voice was in no way intrusive. “Do you have a family?”

He smiled with fond nostalgia at the memory of James. “I suppose you can say I have a son.” He sighed. “And I'd like to believe that he's not reckless or disrespectful of the rules enough to try and come after me as well, but I know him better than that.”

Her eyes narrowed in thought. “You're talking about the captain of the Enterprise, aren't you?”

He confirmed it with a nod and she paused, right before they shared a horrified look, as realization dawned. 

“On the plus side, if they manage not to kill each other on their way here, we will definitely be rescued,” she reassured him with a smile that was more an off-shot of a disbelieving grimace. 

# # #

The weapons bay aboard the Vengeance had a small, adjoining briefing room equipped with an interactive holoscreen. She went over the vague maps they had of the Romulan Neutral Zone and redid her less clear simulations. Her conclusions contained no amount of good news. She scrubbed at her dry, gritty eyes. Her head was pounding. The light on the ship, which had two variations: too dark or too bright of a glare, only compounded her growing exhaustion. 

She flipped her communicator open. “Carol Marcus to bridge.”

“Go ahead, Carol,” Khan answered her levelly. 

“I have the results you wanted.”

“I'm on my way.” 

She returned the communicator to the one of her trousers pockets and thumbed at the screen to put up the specs for the ship's photon torpedoes. She pulled herself a chair to wait for Khan, who was taking his time getting there. Her eyes drifted to the tiny window the room afforded. Nothing of the Klingon space they were currently crisscrossing was visible past their warp bubble. It should have been a momentous occasion. They were the first Starfleet officers in history to go so deep into the heart of the Klingon Empire, regardless of the circumstances. She wondered if her colleagues had any thoughts to spare to that idea or if they were all preoccupied with the gravity of their mission and their mistrust of Khan. 

As if on cue, the Augment leader entered the chamber holding a little French press that smelled suspiciously like real coffee. He set the pot by her on the table. “I am afraid we'll have to rely on the replicator for the sugar. Do you still take one spoon?”

She was too stunned to do anything but nod. 

“One large coffee mug, spoon and one brown sugar,” he ordered. “Do you want cream as well?”

“No, thanks... . Where did you get actual coffee?”

He smiled a bit, as he filled her mug. “I projected this ship complete with survival equipment for every variable I could conceive so there is a small, incipient hydroponic garden aboard. Kati used it for a while, before we rebuilt those on the colony. Coffee was among the first things she planted,” he explained and handed her the steaming cup. 

“I missed her, too,” she confessed, the influx of memories – Kati tending to her beloved plants, the howling of the wind of Ceti Alpha V, the first time Khan had brought her coffee – pushing against her boundaries and threatening the tenuous grasp she had on the present. For an instant or so, the gaze in his eyes, a swirl of gold and cobalt in this light, roved across her face as if in a gentle caress, before flickering to the screen she had been working on. She hid her own slip in control in a gulp of her delicious and fresh coffee. 

“Weapons... right...,” she babbled swallowing more of the coffee in between words. His smile grew indulgent, but there was no trace of ridicule on his features, which only softened further. 

“You're not going to like this,” she added.

“I surmised as much.”

“First things first, the torpedoes are going to be a definite problem. The only ones virtually undetectable are the long-range ones, which... .”

“... have too long of a range to be used in such a crammed space as the Romulan Neutral Zone,” he completed. 

She bobbed her head in acknowledgement. “Even though we don't know exactly what's on the other side of the Romulan border, we have to assume that their outposts have long-range, in-dept sensors just like the Federation does on our frontier. There's no way those scanners won't detect the Vengeance's medium and short-range torpedoes. At the very least, we can expect them to send a patrol to see what's going on, but after the confrontation earlier this year between the Enterprise and the bird prey that made an incursion into the Neutral Zone, I think it's much more realistic that they'll send a full squadron.”

He leaned forward a bit, frowning intently. “The Enterprise had a run-in with a Romulan warship earlier this year?”

She started, nervously pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “Kirk didn't tell you, did he?”

He shot her an exasperated look. “No, he did not,” he said caustically. He shook his head, briefly drawing his lips into his mouth. “Carol,” he pleaded, using her name like a term of endearment. “I don't want to put you in an inappropriate position in regard to your duty as Starfleet officer, especially since I know how much that means to you, but I wasn't quoting Sun Tzu earlier for the sake of poetry. I need to be aware of every piece of information impacting this mission. I can assure you I will take anything you tell me to my grave, but if I am missing something vital and we do get into a firefight with the Romulans, all our graves, including those of your admiral and Kati, will be in that Neutral Zone.”

She sighed and looked away. Even if he weren't getting to her, which he was, thus bringing back all of her old questions and doubts about his manipulative nature, she could see the wisdom of his words. She turned her head towards him again. The intensity in his gaze made it hard for her to maintain eye-contact, but she did her best regardless. “We fired phasers repeatedly in the vicinity of the Neutral Zone,” she admitted with a heavy heart, each word a shard of glass scratching at her throat on its way out, chipping at her dueling loyalties. “Their location might be different, but the Vengeance has exactly the same type of phaser banks like a Constitution-class ship. If you fire them while we're the Neutral Zone, the Romulans would instantly recognize the residue and come after us. Most likely, with a small fleet of war birds.”

His long fingers tapped at the screen towering above the table, shifting the images into a display of the ship's overall weaponry. “So I can only use phasers or photon torpedoes as a last recourse. What else?”

“I was on the bridge of the Enterprise for most of that fight. The Romulan birds of prey are lithe and have a maneuvering capability unlike anything Starfleet has encountered before.”

“And the Vengeance is big and heavy,” he finished for her, pulling up on the screen an overall view of their ship. “I know. I didn't conceive the Vengeance for the purposes of commando assignments such as this one. I had it made for the massive battles in the open your war with the Klingons used to entail. Your other ships are transport and scientific exploration vessels with weapons installed on almost as an afterthought. Given Starfleet's wooden and unimaginative strategies and the fact that the Klingons treat war as a fistfight, it made tactical sense to recommend the construction of a large, heavily-armed ship capable of cutting through the too straight attack lines of your enemy.”

Her eyes followed the charts he was studying. “Khan... I know you don't want to hear this, but Kirk is the only Starfleet captain with direct combat experience against the Romulans.”

His hands dropped away from the touch-screen. “And less rote strategic thinking and excellent instincts. I know. I noticed.” He whirled around to stare her in the face again. “Tell me then: what is that I don't want to hear?”

“You'll need his advice and full disclosure on this. Right now he wouldn't give you the list of new foods recently introduced in the Enterprise's replicators. Don't storm on the bridge demanding why he kept essential data from you. Let me talk to him first!”

He took one measured step closer to her, regarding her strangely. Her stomach twisted with dread, but his next statement succeeded both at surprising her and dissipating it. “Alright,” he said simply.

 

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

“You did what?” Kirk snapped. 

“Captain, I understand where your suspicion of Khan is coming from, but if you want this to work, we have to give Khan the relevant military information.”

There was a measure of calculation in Kirk's eyes that she had never seen before. He generally gave everyone the benefit of a doubt and that made his sudden mistrust of her all the more jarring. When talking to Khan in the weapons bay, she had thought she knew where she stood, but now, in the face of Kirk's uncertainty, she was once more reminded that she was no longer on Ceti Alpha V but back in Starfleet, where her responsibilities were or at least, should have been more clear. 

“It sounds like you already told him everything he needed to know,” Kirk quipped, a dubious bitterness affecting his voice. 

Carol drew herself taller. “If you have an accusation to make, Captain, make it now!”

Kirk frowned, his lips pressing tightly together for a instant or two before he opened his mouth to speak again. “I'm not the captain of this ship, nor are we acting as Starfleet officers. If we did, the list of charges at all of our court martials will be longer than the treaty we're about to break.” He paused, taking a step closer, the misgivings in his eyes fading to concern. “Since I'm not your captain for the duration of this mission, I can tell you this: he's got some kind of hold on you.”

His hands came to rest lightly on her shoulders, making her heart clench painfully. The pressure of his palms scalded her even through the thick material of the Minosian blouse she was wearing. 

“Jim... he's not the problem. I am!” She shook herself free of his touch and advanced towards the wide windows the ready room they were in boosted. “For a year, I tried to pretend that everything is the same and that my time with the Augments, what my father did, what I know of Starfleet doesn't change anything... that they didn't change me, but they did.”

He looked positively disturbed at her words. “Carol, nobody's judging you because of what your father did.”

She smiled sadly. “Jim, you and your crew have been nothing but great to me, but... that's my father we're talking about. I was raised mostly by my mother, but as I grew up, we became close, really close, and I saw nothing. Then one day he suddenly orders me to this distant planet and as time goes by, I discover not rumors, not innuendos, but factual proof that he's broken all the rules and regulations that hold our world together. And I was an-eye witness to the worst of it. I don't want to, but I can't help but wonder if he has changed somewhere along the way and when or why, or if he has always been like this and I was too blind to see it. He's certainly not going to tell me. He's convinced he was only trying to save the Federation all along.”

She heard him shuffle closer, but he didn't touch her again. She kept her eyes on the window. “I fought in the war, too, and I know what kind of instincts awaken in the heat of battle, but that's not who we are and maybe your father just lost sight of that... .”

Carol wasn't listening anymore. It wasn't a conscious decision on her part, but his words sparked the flame of inspiration in her mind, which instantly set onto working at warp speed trying to divine the correct solution. “Fog of war,” she murmured. 

“What did you say?” Kirk asked, but it barely registered.

She whirled around nearly colliding with him in the process. “Everything in war is very simple, but the simplest thing is difficult,” she quoted excitedly, the fresh burst of energy at the idea she had just had invigorating and chasing away the gloom of her spirit and the fatigue in her body. 

She realized with a start that Kirk was staring at her in confusion. She beamed as she rushed past him and towards the exit. “It's from von Clausewitz's On War.”

She broke off into a run once she got into the corridor. Luckily they were on the same deck with the bridge so she didn't have to go far. She bursts through the doors sliding open for her and made a beeline for Khan's chair. He stood the second he saw her. She didn't stop until she got right in his personal space. “Plasma torpedoes,” she rasped, short of breath. 

He gave away nothing, as he stepped down from his elevated position as captain and typed on the console at the center of the bridge. She followed him and looked over his shoulder at the schematics of the Cardassian-style plasma torpedoes recommended they were installed on the Vengeance, back when he was still designing weapons for her father. 

“They have never been deployed in battle and they still have accuracy problems in terms aim,” he observed.

She reached for the console, slowing her hand at the last moment, as she half-expected him to object. When he didn't, she typed up the specifications for a single one of the torpedoes she had brought up. “They were created on the basis of those found on a Cardassian orbital platform that drifted into Federation space and since the Romulans had little contact with the Cardassians before, it would take their sensors longer to both pick up and trace their residue. I can also correct the aim problem by installing a subroutine based on the celestial charts for the Neutral Zone in their navigational system.”

“You'll have to open each and every one of them individually and make the modifications by hand,” he remarked after a cursory look at what she had pointed out to him in the insides of the torpedo.

“And we're almost at destination... I know. I'll have Mr. Scott and Doctor McCoy help me.”

His eyebrows shot up and he looked at her from the corner of his eye. “Why the doctor?”

“Because if his hands are steady enough to perform a G-section on a Gorn while being bitten by the newborn babies, they're steady enough for me to show him how to cross a few wires in a torpedo.” 

“Isn't the term C-section?” he asked in dismay. 

“On a Gorn, it's a G-section.”

“I don't want to know.”

She held back a wink at the last minute, but the smile slipped through, her lips curving almost out of their own volition. “Wise choice!”

Only in the turbolift did she realize that she had not been operating on the same level of familiarity she had enjoyed with Khan during her second year on the Augment colony. Worst off, it had happened in full view of her colleagues and superiors from the Enterprise, therefore answering any lingering doubts they might have about her by shining a most unfavorable light on her. It should have perturbed her, but it didn't. She was still thrumming with excitement from her discovery, her elation having increased with Khan's quick catching up and the dynamism of their exchange. He wasn't troubled by her leaps in logic or her sharpened senses.

She had told Kirk the truth. Their ongoing mission had brought it all in clear, unavoidable focus. She had been looking in the wrong direction. The main issue wasn't how she felt about Khan or even why he had sent her away. He was just a part of her problem. The core of it was how her experience on Ceti Alpha V had altered her outlook on life, unleashing sides of her she had had no idea they existed before, and with it, everything had changed. She could pretend all she wanted, but at the end of the day, as she closed her eyes in her quarters on the Enterprise, chasing sleep that was sporadic to come, it was the ashen skies of the Augment planet that she saw.

Her world had been knocked off orbit and try as she might, there was no spinning it back to the place where she had been the day her marriage to Khan had been contracted. Her Earth was being heralded as paradise and the Federation as a culmination of galactic policy. Nobody ran from paradise. It was too insane of a notion to even entertain. Civilizations applied to join the Federation; no one raced away from it past the unyielding Mutara Nebula towards a barely habitable planet far from commercial and transport routes. Such was the natural order of things. 

Starfleet and the Federation was where she belonged, where she had longed to be in those two long years spent on the Ceti Alpha V. To yearn for the latter and all it had to offer was absurd. That wasn't who she was. It wasn't who she was supposed to be. She didn't have a romantic side who appreciated the appeal of building a whole world from scratch. It was an insult both to her duty as a Starfleet officer and to the Augments, who actually needed to do that, because it was the only home they d haever had. Just like it stood against all reason to be such close friends with someone as contradictory and corrosive as Kati and yet have troubles opening up to Nyota Uhura, with whom she had much more in common. 

It wasn't that she didn't want to return to Ceti Alpha V! She had spent a year suppressing that desire, after all. The crux of the matter was that she shouldn't. She had her old life back. She should rejoice. Only that she wasn't the starry-eyed, innocent and idealist officer who had led it. Her former connections had been shattered, her once enviable relationship with her father broken, her trust in Starfleet Command gone. Her paradise was lost.

In the weapons bay she patted herself blindly for her communicator. She needed to summon McCoy and Scotty there and start modifying the plasma torpedoes immediately. She had not time to waste on an existential crisis.

# # #

Kirk had followed Carol onto the bridge just in time to bear witness to the mind-blogging spectacle of Khan treating someone in Starfleet with something other than sneering disdain. The Augment interaction with the Enterprise's weapons expert and second science officer excited in him the same morbid fascination watching a terrible accident would. It was impossible for him to tear his gaze away while also causing him great concern. Denial was no longer an option. The two had had an intimate relationship at some point and it wasn't over. Jim liked Carol and wanted to trust her, but he had to face the reality: where Khan was concerned, her loyalties were uncertain. 

Reflexively the captain of the Enterprise glanced at Mister Spock for guidance. Spock was looking away from his station, observing the bizarre connection between Khan and Carol with a visible frown. Their eyes met and the Vulcan gave an almost imperceptible nod. They were in agreement on this. Uhura was staring as well, her expression completely flabbergast. Jim made himself focus on the talk of torpedoes, swallowing the bitter pill of having to let someone else made decisions about the assignments of his crew, and put his personnel issue out of his mind. He would deal with Carol once they were back aboard the Enterprise.

Meanwhile he had to stand idly by, as Carol bustled off the bridge to do Khan's bidding. It was all for the good of their mission, of course, but still he felt his resentment towards the Augment skyrocket. Khan had had a Trojan horse sneaked among his people and Jim had been unable to catch on until it was too late. 

The Augment was staring at him, his eyes sparkling in challenge. “I believe I'm owed a conversation, Kirk,” he said. The use of Jim's family name couldn't have been more obvious of an insult, if Khan had spat after uttering it. 

 

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major spoilers for the series of comics on Khan!

“Hey, hey... don't do that! You were telling me about Antares theater!”

The voice was coming from far away, yet it was familiar: feminine and melodic. For a moment he thought it was the voice of his first officer from the days he had been captain of the Enterprise, but the tonality was all wrong. 

“Christopher,” said the voice sharply. 

His name... he recognized his name. He wondered if he was still in the cage on the forbidden planet of Talos IV with the mind-controlling aliens who had strived to make him and his crew into slaves.

“It's wrong to create a whole race of humans to live as slaves,” he muttered, echoing the words of Number One. 

“I couldn't agree more,” replied the strange voice. A cool palm was pressing onto his forehead. “But let's discuss ethics, after you open your eyes, alright?”

He didn't understand. He had thought his eyes open and that he was back home in San Francisco, for he lived there now. He was no longer captain of the Enterprise. James was. His old Enterprise was not even longer in commission; the fleet had a new flagship, of Constitution class. He was now an admiral. He was shaking... no, somebody was shaking him, slim, strong fingers digging nearly painfully into his shoulders. 

“Chris... come on... wake up!” the voice insisted.

His eyes snapped open and the blurry image of a woman's face swam into view. A curtain of dark hair framed his vision. Fingers skimmed over his cheek. “Kati,” he murmured in recognition.

“Yes, Kati,” she confirmed with a small smile. How strange that he had not noticed before that she was beautiful. Lovely was a more appropriate word to describe her, in fact: delicate, distinguished features of a shell cameo, deep, hazel eyes, high perched, coal black eyebrows. 

“Your fever is back,” she remarked. “And it's worse than before. Much worse... . Do you know where we are?”

He tried to nod but wasn't sure his head had moved. “Captured by... Orions...,” he rasped. 

“That's right.” She drew back and knelt on the floor, next to his bed, her hand grabbing one of his. “You don't have to keep your eyes open, if the effort is too much for you, but you need to stay awake. I'm going to tell you a story... don't worry; it's not my life story. These aren't the circumstances to rob you of your will to live. But you will have to squeeze my hand to let me know you can still hear me. Do you understand?”

He grasped at her her fingers in approval. He heard the smile in her voice, when she spoke again: “Good... . Now did you know there is a string of acid lakes around the North Pole of Ceti Alpha V?”

# # #

Kirk stalked onto the bridge, having to resort to almost breaking into a run to keep up with Khan's speedy strides. The human was short of breath but unwilling to give the Augment the satisfaction of leaving him behind. Khan was as irritating as ever, his face blank, his eyes unreadable, as he had tried to pry as much information as possible out of Kirk on the Enterprise's entanglement with the Romulan war vessel that had violated the Neutral Zone earlier that year. 

Kirk gave him a summary of everything that he found pertinent to their goal and resisted any press for more. He kept expecting Khan of all people to become furious with him for not being more forthcoming, but the Augment maintained his composure, his voice never climbing up but preserving that low, even tone that was at times tinged with disdain. Jim wasn't above admitting that he had been on the verge of losing him temper in the face of such infuriating calm, missing the steadying presence of Spock at his side. 

Through it all, his mind kept drifting to Carol. How had this intangible sociopath gotten into her head or worse, her heart? He had a tight rope to walk around her. His interest in Carol was not exactly a secret and anything he might say to her on the matter could easily be misconstrued, especially since she technically wasn't breaking any rules and the Federation wasn't officially in any kind of conflict with Khan and his people. But the Augment was a dangerous, poisonous snake able to slither his way in anywhere and taint everything around him. Perhaps, once they were back on the familiar territory of the Enterprise, this matter would be best handled by Spock. 

It was not something he felt comfortable with, but his mind kept reverting to the last time he had been on the Vengeance and to Khan's reaction to Carol's imminent death on the surface of Ceti Alpha VI in order to save his family. His whole body-language had spelled suffering and Kirk himself had concluded that the Augment warrior was at his core only human. He had been content to let him keep the Vengeance and hoped never to see him again. He had thought that chapter closed and the book thrown away. But it seemed the Augments and their shadow on the Enterprise was there to stay. 

On the bridge of the war vessel, Kirk stormed to the console next to Spock, exchanging a significant look with his first officer before going over the latest readings. From the corner of his eye he observed Khan sitting in the captain's chair but not without casting one last glance at the human. Jim swore he could feel those reptilian eyes burning into the back of his head. 

“Arrival to 872 Trianguli V in 10 seconds,” Sulu announced. 

Kirk turned to look at the front view screen, right before they appeared before a massive planet covered in swirling clouds of red and yellow gas. 

“Are there any life signs on the surface?” Khan wanted to know. 

“Yes,” Chekov answered, voice uncertain. Then he seemed to pull himself together and looked over his shoulder first all the way to Kirk, who gave him a small, encouraging smile, and then at Khan lording over them. “There is a large compound just below the equator with multiple life signs inside. But the atmospheric interferences are too strong for the sensors to pick up exact species,” he explained. 

“I am reading three Orion interceptors, two Corsair class fighters and four Brigand-class ships around the compound,” Sulu added. 

Kirk winced. Not only was that a small fleet, they also had formidable weaponry. He turned to look at Khan, who pressed a key on the tiny command console on his chair's right arm. “Carol, are the plasma torpedoes combat-ready?”

“Online and ready to fire on your command,” Carol's voice filtered through. 

“Alright. Come to the bridge then. I need you at the weapons station.”

“Plasma torpedoes are not gonna cut it against the kaon ones on the Corsair class fighters and the Brigand-class ships,” Kirk chimed in.

Khan's eyebrows drew closer together but he gave no other indication of having heard Kirk. “Shields up. Bring us about,” he ordered, as he moved to stand at large console in front of his chair. 

In the periphery of his vision Jim registered Carol's return to the bridge.

“Image on screen,” Khan commanded. “Fire torpedoes at the interceptors. Make sure none gets off the ground. Mister Spock!” His voice raised ever so slightly but his tone remained cool and impersonal. “Deploy the drones marked as having plasma torpedoes around the compound but keep them sealed.”

Even with the limited firepower of the plasma torpedoes, the Orion interceptors were not exactly difficult to take out. The element of surprise had also been on their side and the shields on the Vengeance had withstood the first meager response from the ground. Then it happened. Kirk knew instantly what would take place next. Frame by frame, the images tumbled into his mind, which slammed into overdrive. 

Khan ordered the torpedoes from the drones launched and they caught one of the Corsair class fighters and two of the Brigand-class ships, destroying them before they could take off from the ground, the towering mass of the Vengeance blocking their escape route. 

“Take us off the planet. Warp 7,” Khan directed. 

Sulu shot Kirk a questioning look. The captain nodded quickly. From the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of vexation on Khan's features, as the Augment glanced between Kirk and the helmsman. The Vengeance slid out of the atmosphere and jumped to warp. The remaining two Brigand-class ships made the mistake of following them. The Vengeance whirled around and picked up them one by one, making full use of her capacity to fire while still at warp. 

It was exactly what Kirk would have done. The pieces fell together, understanding dawning, as he revisited the questions Khan posed about the Enterprise's encounter with the Romulans. No matter how good of a tactician Khan was in theory, he still didn't have much of a practical experience in terms of space battles and had never confronted any Orion or Romulan war ship. He also had no time to learn, nor did he trust Kirk to ask for counsel, given their mutual past. So he had taken a shortcut and quizzed the captain of the Enterprise in a manner meant to tap into Kirk's strategical knowledge on these crucial matters. Then, formulating a plan had been sheer simplicity for someone of the Augment's intelligence. 

As the Vengeance flew back to the planet, after having destroyed all opposing ships, Kirk didn't know whether he found what Khan had just done terrifying or brilliant. Or maybe both. 

# # #

“I swear you have the worst luck of anyone I know,” Kati muttered angrily under her breath, pressing her ear to Christopher's too still chest. “And believe me, that's saying something!”

He wasn't breathing and he had not pulse. His fever had gradually gotten worse over the past few hours and he had drifted in and out of consciousness, but for most time, she had managed to keep him awake and responsive. Then just as she had caught the first sounds of battle outside the compound they were held in, his hand had gone completely inert in hers and less than a minute later, his pulse had stopped. 

Given her past, she was proficient in just about any survival skill there was, including administering first help. Cursing in every language she knew, she began the chest compressions, careful to dose the strength she applied as not to break any bone or crush a vital organ in the process. She blew into his mouth in between the pumps of the cardiac massage. She went through two rounds of CPR without receiving any response from his unmoving body. 

“Come on, Chris, you don't want to die like this,” she all but shouted. 

The commotion around them had increased to a loud roar peppered with the blast of explosions and duller sounds of fighting. Normally by now she would be busy figuring a way to disable the force field keeping them prisoners and contributing to the rescue effort. Passivity was not in Kati's nature in the most basic way. But all she could focus on was the slack face of this good and decent man, who deserved better than to die in the miserable clutches of the one thing she hated the most in the whole universe: slave-traders.

“Breathe,” she implored. “Breathe, Christopher... please.”

The walls around her wavered. The light changed, shifting colors and intensity, becoming white and sharp. She was thrust back into the medical facility, where she had grown up, a prisoner of long, narrow corridors, cement courtyards and hospital wards crammed with equipment and bars on their windows. She remembered her first friends being ripped away from her, because they had fallen behind on the physical and mental tests demanded of them at all times, and to a closed-off wing that was supposed to house only the mortuary. 

Her vision narrowed and became blurry with the tears burning her eyes. He still wasn't breathing. She heard a sickening crack coming from under her now less steady hands. She had just cracked his sternum. It was fixable, if only she could get him to breathe again. 

“We are stronger than them, more intelligent and they engineered us to be the perfect warriors. We are simply better... at everything. If we stand together, they will not be able to do this to us ever again!” 

Khan's words from three centuries ago rang in her ears. He had been only fifteen, when he had lead them in a successful mutiny against their creators. But the reprieve had been temporary, as they had soon discovered that Doctor Heisen, who lead the facility where they had been made, had them fitted with neutral inhibitors that also contained trackers. It would be his last mistake. They had removed the implants before his arrival. She recalled the satisfaction she had felt upon watching Khan crush his skull with his bare hands. The clarity she had experienced in that moment would remain unparalleled through the rest of her life: humans were abusive, disorganized and prone to conflict. They need them to bring peace and order. They needed proper leadership.

Still no pulse. No heart-beat. No breath of life. Her own breath was coming out choppy and she was shaking harder and harder. Powerless. The last time she had felt this powerless had been aboard the Botany Bay, when Joaquin had pulled the lid of the cryotube over her rapidly numbing body. By then the clarity had been long gone, scorched into the fires of a lost war and swarmed over in the deceit that had brought about their downfall. Humanity didn't deserve them. All humanity had shown them was cruelty and betrayal. Her family was all she had, all that mattered. 

Now she was helpless again. Helpless, just like she had been at twelve, when she had screamed herself hoarse begging the doctors and the guards for the life of her room-mate. Just as helpless as she had been during the last battle of the war. Just like in the cryotube. Just like when Marcus had taken them prisoners, locked them in cages and threatened to kill their friends, if they did not behave. She hated being helpless almost as much as she hated the spike of fear raising with her. Why was it that it was always the people who showed them kindness that they failed to protect? 

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read, please leave me a comment and tell me what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

“Admiral!” 

The voice was vaguely familiar: soft, yet male, but the inflection in it was devoid of the emotional charge that was required of the dramatic situation. 

Kati drew in a deep, unsteady breath. “I've gotten a pulse, but I don't know for how long,” she said more to herself than to him.

The Vulcan she identified as the Enterprise's first officer took out his communicator. “I have Admiral Pike and Kati,” he spoke evenly into it. “Three to beam up directly to medical bay.”

Just in case, she gingerly wrapped her arms around Christopher's torso to support him. The pulse her cardiac massage had managed to force into his broken body was faint and he had yet to regain consciousness. 

Teleportation was something she never thought she could get used to. The barely there prickle of her molecules breaking apart registered and her environment shifted. A second later her sight was inundated with a blue glare. She recognized the light easily: she was aboard the Vengeance. The doctor from the Enterprise looked at her strangely, as she laid Christopher down on one of the beds, but he wasted no time in pointing a scanner at the prone man. 

Kati didn't bother explaining herself. She had a working knowledge of the ship and so she had no problems in finding her way to a medical extractor. She pushed up the sleeve on her left arm and stabbed the device into a vein. 

“If you're doin' what I think you're doin', it will have to wait until I stabilize him,” the doctor observed. 

She said nothing just withdrew the filled vial of blood and inserted an empty one. 

“Will he recover, Doctor McCoy?” the Vulcan asked in that gratingly controlled voice. 

Mercifully the doctor did not pause in his work, as he answered, one of his eyebrows raising slightly. “He's got more injuries than I can count. Somebody tried to stop his internal bleeding and repair his pneumothorax and ruptured spleen, but they ended up doing more harm than good in the long run. He also has a cracked sternum and four broken ribs.”

“The latter are on account of my CPR,” Kati admitted. She left the vials of her own blood within the doctor's reach and stepped back to the bed, reaching to take one of Christopher's hands into her own, her thumb stroking his skin reassuringly. 

The doctor shot her a bewildered look and she heard the Vulcan get even closer, probably intent on wrenching her away. She ignored them both. 

“You did a good job on the resuscitation,” the doctor muttered wryly, while attaching some small sensor-like pieces of equipment to the wounded man's forehead. “If his brain had been deprived of oxygen any longer, I'm not sure even your blood would've done much of a difference.”

She nodded, the lump in her throat forming again. She blinked furiously, fighting against he threat of tears. Their platelets might have regenerative properties beyond their creator's wildest dreams, but even their blood was not a panacea. If a human's brain activity was entirely gone, there was nothing it could do. Something flickered inside her mind, triggering a memory. 

It had not taken the doctors long to discover that their regenerating abilities surpassed what had already been encoded in their modified DNA, therefore, giving them a blank slate on which to write new biological weapons and cures. Kati herself had been injected with two different strands of Anthrax. Her immunity system had triumphed against the bacteria each time, but not before the symptoms had set in, threatening to shut down her lungs, inducing tortuous pain and making hideous boils bloom all over her skin. 

“How is he, Bones?”

The voice was loud, human, full of emotion and blessedly strong enough to shatter the nightmarish illusion of her memory. She turned her head, schooling her face into an unmovable mask, as her eyes met those of James T. Kirk, captain of the USS Enterprise and the man Christopher had called his son. The human's eyes were unnaturally blue in the bright light of the infirmary and wide with fear and concern. His gaze swept over Christopher then stopped on their intertwined hands, as he stared at them as if they were poisonous. 

“Alive,” the doctor mumbled, momentarily distracting her.

Christopher was indeed alive. The pads of her fingers drifted to his wrist, feeling his weak yet steady pulse thrum under the skin. There was nothing left for her to do here, in the sick bay. She had already given the blood the doctor would need to keep him out of danger. She could hear the unspoken conversation going on in the room around her, as the men of the Enterprise regarded her in confusion and mistrust. She was the interloper in this family. 

Kati gently rested Christopher's hand on the bed, stole one last glimpse of his face and walked out. She didn't allow herself to breathe easy until she reached the safe haven of the corridor. Her other concerns pressed themselves into her mind and she sprinted towards the bridge. A picture was beginning to emerge, as her confidence grew with every step she took. She was grateful Khan hadn't directly inquired about her wellbeing, but most of all, she was grateful for his steadying, unseen presence and for the mute yet unfaltering strength of his protection. 

Carol's head whirled in her direction the minute Kati entered the bridge, a wide, happy grin spreading on the blond woman's face, the relief in her eyes evident. Kati winked at her in passing and climbed up to Khan's position. He nodded at her, his eyes warm for an instant, but did not stand up. She didn't expect him to. 

“That place was full of slaves. We can't just leave them there,” she told him, keeping her tone light and respectful. 

“We didn't,” he said, getting up to go the console at the center of the bridge. Kati followed dutifully.

“No, but you did just lock them up in a hanger without any explanation or assistance,” protested someone from behind the captain's chair. 

Kati turned from the readings on the console to stare in surprise at the communications officer from the Enterprise. The lieutenant's eyes burnt with defiance, her chin raised hauntingly. Kati appreciated bravery in all shapes and forms, but Khan at her side was less likely to be so lenient. 

“We are traveling at full speed through hostile space. Once we arrive at Theta IX, they are free to go wherever they please, but in the meantime I will not allow anyone to wreck havoc on this ship,” Khan said in a low, dangerous voice. “Now return to your post or leave the bridge!” he finished in his sternest command tone that in the past had men and women scurry away terrified. 

Not this one. “Yes, Captain,” she said disdainfully, her tone making it plain she did not think him worthy of the title. 

Khan arched a brow at her, mild amusement flitting across his features at the audacity of this human he could snap in two one-handedly. A few instants later his eyes found Kati again, a question in his perceptive gaze. She smiled encouragingly at him, not fooling herself about his ability to catch some lingering sign of her panic attack and the ensuing flashbacks in her expression. 

“Rest,” he said, his tone halfway between advice and command. 

# # #

The space for the hydroponic garden aboard the Vengeance was woefully inappropriate and she had moved most of the plants to the rebuilt ones on the colony as soon as she had been able to. Only a few were left, those that thrived in the special conditions provided by the ship rather than under the unforgiving sun of their planet. She had also brought on board samples of some of the most exotic specimens Ceti Alpha V had to offer. 

The garden had elongated windows reflecting the warp bubble they were traveling through. The familiarity of her plants failed to help her center herself, equilibrium escaping her. Realistically she was aware that even her body was going through the aftereffects of nearly seventy-two hours without sleep and the toll taken by the laser-focus needed to tend to Christopher, but her emotional turmoil kept her from resting properly. 

She meandered through the chamber, idly adjusting a couple of settings as she went. She enjoyed botanics. She found it easy and comforting and fortunately, it was also useful to her family. Her plants were something she excelled at all on her own. The interest hadn't been bred into her, instilled by the harsh training routine of her younger years and came with the benefit of a tranquility that had nothing in common with the tortured memories of war or of being on the run. It was hers and hers alone. 

The door slid open with barest of hiss, but her adrenaline didn't spike. She knew those steps. Carol Marcus was studying her with genuine affection and concern in those wide, blue eyes she had inherited from her father. It was the clearest physical resemblance she bore to the man, who had tried to kill Kati and her entire family twice over, and the Augment could understand why Khan had once been so invested in breaking this woman's spirit. 

Carol strolled up to her and enveloped her into a hug, in which she put all her meager strength. “Tell me,” she whispered into Kati's shoulder. 

Something akin to nausea settled into Kati's stomach. Every single strand of her DNA had been rearranged to make her into a creature of immense power and unfailing intellect. A perfect, calculated, steely killing machine. However, their creators had not bothered tampering with their ability to feel emotion. It wasn't a marketable quality for a super soldier. Perhaps it was punishment for the liberties they had taken or maybe it was an unexpected off-shot of the re-sequencing, but despite how hard they normally formed attachments, their capability for feeling was exacerbated to paroxysm, once they did. Their marital bonds were devoid of any of the fickleness that affected the humans and loyalty ran as deep in them as the rare properties of their spectacular immunity system.

Kati wrapped her arms around Carol. The prim and proper woman of the 23rd century would be appalled to know that her savage augment friend would kill and maim to protect her without any hesitation what-so-ever.

“It's nothing I can't handle,” Kati said, shrugging her way out of their hug.

Carol didn't look convinced. “Kati, while I have no doubt you're fine physically, you've just been held captive by slavers. I know it's all very different, but that must have brought back some memories.”

Kati held her prodding gaze without flinching. Carol nodded, her facial expression one of resolution. She walked through the rows of glass-encased plants to lean against the strip of metal separating two windows. “Alright,” she spoke at last. “I'll start: I can't sleep. I can't find my place in Starfleet and everyone on the Enterprise is so nice and accommodating, that I feel guilty for not trying harder to fit in. But it just doesn't work anymore. I can't unsee what I've seen... about Section 31, about Command... . And some nights... .” Carol paused, eyes swimming with tears. “Some nights I'm afraid sleeping would be just like dying. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret what I did! Not for one second. I should be grateful I'm alive, I know I should, but all I can think of is that I've been... dead.”

Kati swallowed hard, forcing herself to keep her gaze on Carol's conflicted face. “I panicked,” she confessed after a few good minutes of silence. “I've never panicked before. I wasn't even sure I'm able to. The mere idea that I can scares me the most.”

# # #

The Vengeance had an extensive brig: a row of force field protected cells crowded in a narrow corridor bathed in a feeble electric blue light. Each cell was soundproof and had its own surveillance system separated from the one in the corridor. 

Kati had showered and changed from her captivity clothes into one of those bland, unmarked jumpsuits coded into the replicators on the ships. She felt like a new woman, though her inner tumult still roared against the mask of casualness she was employing to camouflage her feelings. She had used her back-door access codes to hack into medical and discover that Christopher's condition had improved rapidly with the help of only a small transfusion of serum made from her blood, which had been lucky, since a more sizable one would have put him in a coma just like it had done with Carol. The doctor's notes remarked that it was only a matter of hours until he regained consciousness.

She navigated her way through the brig to a cell farther at the back. The Orion woman, who had taken her and Christopher prisoner and was now locked inside, got up quickly from the bench that served her as a bed and mouthed something, staring at Kati with terror in her mauve eyes. Kati smiled slightly and turned to the figure awaiting for her in a dark corner. Someone lacking in an Augment's acute senses would have missed him. 

“How did you manage to get her?” Kati asked him leisurely. 

Khan stepped into the light. “One of their ships didn't follow the Vengeance, when we attacked but instead tried to run away, leading me to realize they were transporting something or someone important. I caught up with them and beamed her aboard from her command position on the bridge, before I destroyed her vessel.”

Carol spared her a tangential glance. “I take it our guests from the Enterprise don't know we have her.”

“Carol probably suspects something, but she won't tell them,” he said mildly. “She understands that for us to survive in this geopolitically unstable galaxy, we need to be aware of the dangers surrounding us.”

“Or of the opportunities,” she added with a small smile.

He smiled back and started back up the hallway towards the turbolift. She fell in step next to him. “You know Carol very well.”

“So do you,” he retorted, a sense of finality to his voice. 

“It's not the same. Khan, I wouldn't suggest it, if she were happy where she's now, but she is not!”

“I am well aware of it, Kati,” he said loftily, as they entered the elevator. “But Carol was willing to give up her life for us. That's debt I can never repay. The least I can do for her is not unduly influence her decisions.”

Kati smirked. “Don't think of it as influencing,” she said sweetly. “But more like lightly tipping the scales.”

He stared resolutely ahead, as he spoke again. “I know you miss your friend, but ours is not her world, Kati.”

 

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Leonard McCoy was absorbed by Admiral's Pike's readings on the bioscreen. His patient's improvement was slow but steady. The serum synthesized from the Augment's blood had already taken care of the infection brought about by the massive internal bleeding and the inappropriate treatment received at the hands of the Orion Syndicate. But it wasn't just his patient's stellar condition that lit up McCoy's mood. They had left the Romulan Neutral Zone without further incident. Even if they were deep in Klingon space, it was an already charted course straight back to the safety of the Enterprise. It was nothing Sulu couldn't handle, especially on this mostly automatic ship.

On that thought, once Pike was stable, he had actually gotten Kirk to get some rest. A surprise hypospray of a novelty sleeping aid to the neck had been most efficient in convincing his friend of the benefits of lying down after being in a firefight twice in the three days straight that he had gone without sleep and participated in a high-stakes mission to rescue his father-figure. To make matters worse, it had all gone down on an unfamiliar one-ship armada, under the thumb of Khan of all people, and the Augment had made no secret of the kick he got out of lording over them. 

With Jim sleeping peacefully in a closed, private ward just a wall away, McCoy could almost be content. It wasn't something many were privy to, but McCoy had gotten to know Jim Kirk well over the years they had been friends, and the captain of the Enterprise had been afraid that a no-win scenario he had been powerless to prevent would take yet another father from him. This was a father Jim had known, someone who hadn't been fooled by the cocky smile or the fake bravado and had seen right to the core of what made both Kirk's insecurities and his outstanding potential. There were a lot of reasons to look up to Christopher Pike, but McCoy respected him the most for the way he had always believed in Jim.

The doctor turned away from the screen intent of getting another scanning of the admiral's previously injured lung, when he saw her: standing by Pike's bed, still as a statue, head tilted slightly to the side, expression bemused. It was her, the female Augment having inadvertently been kidnapped with the admiral. She hadn't been there the last time McCoy had glanced in that direction and he had not heard her come in.

Startled, McCoy swore under his breath. “Thanks for the heart condition,” he griped. 

He might as well not have spoken at all. She gave no acknowledgement just stalked closer to the unconscious admiral, her eyes sweeping over his face. McCoy's heart gave an uncomfortable tug. He wasn't exactly happy with her here so close to a helpless man, but he had to admit that he had no reasons to suspect she meant Pike any harm. She had resuscitated him prior to them being rescued. And then there was the brain-stabbing imagery of her tenderly holding Pike's hand.

The doctor was about to give her an update on Pike's condition. After all, she had saved his life; she deserved to know how said life was being treated. Before he could tell her anything, he realized with a stab of shame that he had not given her to a medical exam after just being held hostage. Surely enough she looked fine and with her metabolism, that was probably true. But it was still his duty as a doctor to tend to her. 

Without further ado, he grabbed his tricorder and advanced towards her, adjusting the settings as he went in accordance to what he remembered of the curt examination he had performed on Khan just after waking him up from cryostasis. He opened his mouth to explain to her what he was up to, when the instrument flew out of his hand and he found himself lying on his back on the floor, a foot pressing into his throat with just enough force not to crush his windpipe. She was still standing, towering over him, a look of unadulterated hatred on her face. 

“Don't do that again,” she ground out as if through gritted teeth. 

With that she removed her foot and stepped away, returning her attention to Pike. McCoy got up with as much dignity as she could muster, coughing a little along the way, still feeling the heavy imprint of her boot on his trachea. “Listen, sweetheart,” he wheezed. “I'm a doctor, not whatever you just thought I am.” He gingerly picked his tricorder off the floor. “I was just gonna take a look at your vitals, see how you're doing. Do you think we can manage it this time without you trying to kill me?”

He slowly moved to where he would be in the periphery of her vision, since she refused to turn, but kept his tricorder lowered, just in case she decided to attack again. The clues began to gather in his mind, as a picture formed. It didn't speak very highly of his amateur psychologist talents, but it seemed he had completely misread Khan's violent reaction immediately upon being revived. He had estimated it to be just a part of the Augment's natural aggression. But after seeing another one of them reacting exactly the same to being submitted to a medical examination, he started to realize that maybe it was a traumatic response of some kind. Where a regular human might have a flight or fight instinct, the Augments could be operating under one lacking in the flight option. 

“Alright,” she said in a clipped voice. “But if you touch me, I will kill you.”

He took a measured step closer and began scanning her. “You do seem to be fine,” he assured after a while, drawing a snort from her. “But your vitals are a little elevated, even for you. Let me see if I can calibrate a minor tranquilizer for you.”

She looked at him then, her eyes burning with anger. “Do not drug me!”

“I wasn't going to...,” he mumbled then stopped himself with a grimace. He put his free hand up to show her he wasn't holding any hidden hypospray. “Okay. Just get some rest.”

She rolled her eyes at him.

“Bones, I told you: no hypospray torture for people who'll actually make good on their promise to kill you,” came Jim's groggy voice from the entrance. 

# # #

Khan thought in military terms. It was something Carol had noticed about him early on, long before the start of their personal relationship. Over time that knowledge had only solidified and garnered more details. She was a weapons specialist and even her mind was far from being as tactic-oriented as his. She recalled their mutual discovery of the anomalous mineral composition of the Ocean of Dust and the Morningstar Mountains back on Ceti Alpha V. The distortion of sensors caused by the radiation the geological oddity emitted had elicited in her a purely scientific curiosity, but Khan had instantly seen the military applications. 

Her memory slipped down the days she and Khan had spent exploring the caves beneath the Morningstar Mountains. The intricate underground labyrinth of tunnels and grottoes had been fascinating, paralleled only by the glimpses she had caught of the puzzle Khan's intellect offered. She had almost forgotten how much she used to enjoy working with him. Part of his acumen came from the completely unpredictable ways his mind functioned. She could never be sure which idea he would throw at her next, just that it would be brilliant and that she would love meeting him halfway and later developing a strategy together. 

Somewhere along the way, perhaps in the depths of the cavernous mountains of Ceti Alpha V or while building weapons on the starbase or trying to come up with measures to improve life on the colony, she had come to fathom a few basics about his thought pathways. She might not know how Khan felt, but on occasion she comprehended his thinking. Standing in the weapons bay on the Vengeance, under the pretext of going over the performance of the torpedoes in the battle the ship had just been in, Carol started to understand why Khan had had Spock deploy the attack drones, when she had been right there with a better understanding of how a type of weaponry previously unused by Starfleet operated. 

On the other hand, if anyone on board could be trusted with rapidly figuring out how the drones were to be activated, that was Spock. The unique nature of the task also had the advantage of keeping the Vulcan occupied, while Khan sneaked something under the radar of the Enterprise crew. Whatever that was had been run through his command console and that she could not access. She tried to get an idea nevertheless by pouring over the ship's schematics on her PADD in hopes of discovering at least where to start looking. 

She was about to give it up as a senseless pursuit, when the turbolift doors slid open to reveal Khan. Their working together had opened a window into her mind for him as well. Their eyes met and held over a short row of photon torpedoes. His gaze was heavy and fraught with hidden meanings. 

“What are you doing, Carol?” he baited.

Her jaw set and she raised her chin a little in defiance. The question was superfluous. He already knew what she was trying to make out. He wouldn't be down here any other way. 

“What did you do?” she asked calmly, refusing to back down. 

He stalked closer, his moves those of a panther on a prowl, his predatory nature evident in the grace of his measured steps. “Why then?” he retorted smoothly, stopping right in front of her, his unerringly inquisitive eyes trained on her face. “There will be no debriefing once you return to the Enterprise. No mission report. This incursion of ours never happened.”

She could almost feel the proverbial light-bulb go out in her mind. “Except that it did and you can prove it.” She shook her head, her heart sinking. Despair instigated poor judgment calls. The fact that they had had no choice, if they wanted to rescue Pike, didn't ease the burn. “This is why you took us with you and nobody from your crew. We're easily recognizable as the superior officers of the Federation's flagship. We make for excellent compromising footage of Starfleet infringing on our treaty with the Romulans, which if it doesn't work as blackmail material, you can always use to start a war, whenever it's most convenient for you.”

There was a flash of teeth in his smile, which was gone as if it had never happened an instant later. He didn't confirm her conclusions. There was no need for it. She knew she was right. 

“Kill with a borrowed sword,” she quoted from the Thirty-Six Stratagems, the one military treatise that he appreciated as much as The Art of War. “Hide a knife behind a smile is what you used with me,” she finished bitterly. 

His eyes darkened for about a nanosecond. “To start a war of this magnitude now would throw the galaxy into chaos, which is not the optimal environment for a raising colony to prosper. I wouldn't worry, if I were you.”

His words, spoken in a leveled, calculated baritone, stoked the spark of anger within her. “You used us,” she accused. Her fury was futile. The damage had already been done. However, she could still gleefully gouge his eyes out. 

“I used an opportunity,” he corrected. “I arrived onTheta IX with the sole intention of getting Kati back. It was your captain who came to me.”

“You have an answer to everything,” she napped heatedly. “But you can't go on exacting vengeance on an entire species for something only handful of us did to you and your family. You're not alone in the universe. You've already started a devastating war in one century! How much more pain and misery do you plan to cause?”

“I didn't star the Eugenics War,” he sneered. “I was attacked so I defended myself and my people.”

“But you did orchestrate a world-wide take over by yourself and your fellow Augments!”

His frown deepened and with it so did the lines on his face. Something deadly glimmered in the swirl of verdigris and heliodor of his eyes. She ignored it. She was too far gone to care for self-preservation. 

“We brought the world order,” he roared. 

“By taking away its freedom... just like you did with me. Is it a power-trip to have me in your grasp again? Or are you again tempted by the fantasy of breaking each and every one of my bones? You knew all along that after what happened in the Ceti Alpha system, my father would be court-martialed and expelled from Starfleet so I would make more of a nuisance than a valuable hostage, but still it must be so satisfying for you to deprive him of the one thing he has left. He lost his rank and freedom all on his own, but me... me you can take from him yourself!”

The ferocity vanished as from his countenance. If anything, he looked drained and had gone pale all of the sudden. “How can you think that I'd want to harm you in any way, after everything you did for my family?” he asked tiredly. 

The abrupt swift in his demeanor only served to stoke her rage. She had reached a point where she was drunk with it, resentment that had been boiling for a year clamoring for the chance to released. “How it must grate to owe such an irredeemable favor to the daughter of Alexander Marcus!”

The fervor returned instantly to his expression. He leaned closer, his eyes dimming to indigo, as his pupils dilated and his nostrils flared. 

She didn't wait for him to speak but smirked instead, triumph coloring her anger. “What if I gave you a free pass?” she taunted. “Let's do what we used to be so good at and pretend... pretend that I never died to save the people you hold most dear. Go ahead. Do what you will!”

He grabbed her right arm right above her elbow. Even as she reared for a fight she knew she didn't have a prayer of winning, she expected to hear the bone crack. But his grip was light, so much so, in fact, that she suspected she could just shrug it off, if she wanted to. He bent his head, his lips stopping less than an inch from her, his hot breath caressing her mouth. “I could feel the words to make you stay on my tongue. I could even convince you it was your own decision. All I had to do was appeal to your sense of duty, to your self-sacrificial nature and to your feelings for me. But you wanted to go home. You might not have said it, but it was obvious.” He drew back, his hand slipping off her and his voice lowering to a thickened whisper. “It was the least... the only thing to do, after the way you've given us life.”

She looked away for the first time since he had come in. She tried to keep her anger burning, but the the coals were blinking out, the fire abated by his startling confession. “You could have just asked me to stay,” she found herself saying, her voice as weak as she now felt.

“And what would you have said?”

She didn't reply. The answer was evident to them both. Even now part of her wished to stay in Starfleet. It had been all she had wanted growing up, the embodiment of the best her world had to offer. Such a passion was not easy to let go of. 

“Believe it or not, I begged on my knees in the most literal sense of the word twice in my life. First it was Doctor Heisen and second, your father. I would do it a third time, if what I did to you were in any shape or form forgivable. If it's any consolation, no matter how small, I got tangled as well in the web I weaved around you. Call it poetic justice, but at least a portion of your suffering has been avenged.”

She nodded mutely, uncertain as to how and what to feel about all this. Her eyes were brimming with tears. It seemed as though only now heartbreak had entered the painfully uneven history of their connection. 

“Could you please leave me alone now?” she said shakily. 

No answer was forthcoming. He just left. 

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read, please let me know what you think.


	13. Chapter 13

The Vengeance flew through Klingon space and back to Theta IX at maximum warp on the course their uneasy neighbor had prescribed for them. Given the ship's minimized functions and the presence of Khan on the bridge to make sure everything was status-quo, the Enterprise officers could celebrate the successful completion of their mission with a much-needed rest. With Jim asleep in the infirmary – or at least, that was the story McCoy was sticking to – Spock, who as a Vulcan required less sleep, had replaced a fatigued Sulu at the helm and dispatched the humans for some downtime in their quarters. 

Carol was as exhausted as her colleagues, but her recent confrontation with Khan had left in the throes of emotional upheaval. She couldn't sleep and was currently huddled on the bed with the dull metallic hulk of the Vengeance looming oppressively over her. Her quarters had no window and of all the vistas she could wish to see, she was thinking of the river flowing behind the house she and Khan used to shared on Ceti Alpha V. The house was gone and so was the entire colony next to it. Between her father's trial, her return to Starfleet and her efforts to fit in, she hadn't had a chance to mourn that loss. 

She bent and retrieved from the floor the tablet Kati had given her at the end of their conversation in the ship's hydroponic garden. It contained a large variety of holovids and pictures of the new colony. Drawing lessons from the Klingon attack her father had provoked, Khan had moved the colony from the proximity of the Equatorial Range to the Morningstar Mountains up north. Though given the mineral composition of the latter, it was the best strategical decision, the weather and soil conditions were considerably worse. The wind and the torrent storms ravaging the surface of Ceti Alpha V were much more vicious and the average temperature was lower. 

Clicking a few commands on the tablet, she browsed the images of the new augment city. It was situated on a narrow plateau surrounded by taupe brown peaks that formed a natural fortress around it. It looked drier and less lush than the old colony, all carmine and yellow lichen covered stone intersected with the exotic yet extremely toxic fungi the planet soil was so fond of producing. The building were small, visibly made of scavenged parts and closely huddled together without any of the wide space between them that she remembered of the former establishment. Even Kati's beloved hydroponic gardens were much reduced. 

She hoped their attempts at arranging settlements in order to develop mining activity would be fruitful so they could acquire in exchange the necessary installations to make the colony flourish. The hope came with the not so rare, despite being unwarranted, spike of guilt over what her father had done. There was also the traitorous thought that now more than ever the Augments could use someone with her expertise and that she could again be a part of something unique and temerarious again. She tried to banish it, reminded herself that this was unlike her, but it sounded hollow, and she knew she was lying to herself, just like Starfleet lied about Section 31. 

That lie she couldn't stomach, just like she couldn't get over the fact that Command had eschewed any admittance of responsibility or complicity in her father's actions, busy instead to sweep the matter under the rug, silence witnesses and vanish documents. Section 31 was out there. It had always been out there. It was in the Starfleet Charter, the same one that spoke of rights, legality and due process, yet hid between the lines a sanctioned conspiracy that allowed a handful of people unaccountable to anyone to hold discretionary power and trample all over the noble principles only a paragraph away. 

Before her arranged marriage to Khan, Carol had led a uncomplicated life, as most Federation citizens were wont to nowadays. She was the only child of like-minded, career-oriented parents. That like-mindedness had proved to be too much for her parents' marriage to survive, but the divorce had had virtually no impact of Carol, since it had happened while she was too young of a child too remember it. In the aftermath, she had been raised in a dynamic and cosmopolitan London by a scientist mother, who had nurtured her aptitudes and carefully guided her education to the best institution the part of United Earth once known as England had to offer. Her outstanding academic achievements had gotten her an easy entrance into Starfleet Academy. Given her much sought-after specialization, she had been retained as a Science Officer by Starfleet Command and her existence in San Francisco had followed the plentiful one she had once had in London.

Until her reinstatement and service aboard the Enterprise, she had had no deep-space experience, but she had traveled plenty outside the Sol system to conferences and for the purposes of exchange programs. Even the conflict with the Klingons had brought very little change, save for an increase in security measures. But life at the heart of the Federation had continued as usual, abundant and cushioned by the advances of technology. The war had seemed far, far away into the recesses of the galaxy. Only with the swinging tide of defeats had anxiety risen in the buildings devoted to Starfleet offices. She had lost a friend or two in battle, had a lot more to worry about and had been constantly concerned about her father's stress levels.

But overall, things had stayed simple: linear and clear, the Charter cut-and-dry in terms of ethics and the Starfleet regulations easy to obey. She had always found comfort in that, in the clarity and perfection of her black-and-white world. It had all come crashing down one sunny San Francisco afternoon, but she had had the protection of the surrealism of the situation for weeks, until one miserable, gray London morning, when denial had become impossible. She had stood before the entrance to what was officially the Kelvin Memorial Archive, shivering slightly in civilian clothes that chafed at her skin, a cold drizzle battering against her upturned face. She had resigned from Starfleet the previous week and set her affairs in San Francisco in order. Her parting with her father the evening before had been tense to the point of confrontational and he had seemed relieved, when she had asked that he not be present at what were to be her wedding. 

She had delayed going in until the last possible moment, fighting a bout of nausea and her nerves. She would never forget the details of that day: the innocuous, period look of the building, the secrets it concealed evident only in the elaborate security protocol she had had to go through in order to get in. She had taken the elevator to an upper level, where she had been led in a small, high-tech conference room. There she had caught her first glimpse of Khan. 

He had stood in the far corner of the room, by the tall window, the ashen light streaming from outside surrounding him like a hallow, the frail rays making the silvery material of the tall-collared coat he wore gleam faintly. Carol was an educated woman; she had known who Khan Noonien Singh was and had been aware of the one or two gritty and unclear photographs still preserved of him. After all, very few documents concerning his rise to power and subsequent short reign had survived the destruction of the Eugenics War. Still she had been taken aback by how devastatingly handsome he was: jet black hair, sculptured, alabaster face carved with elegant lines and impossibly high cheekbones, cupid bow lips the color of cherry blossoms and deep, golden-blue eyes. 

At first, he hadn't even seemed at all menacing: his expression was shuttered yet serene and his gaze was only assessing. There was a certain air of theatricality about him, but he didn't look like a bloodthirsty dictator from the past, not that she had any idea how one such individual was supposed to look. She had called herself several synonyms for silly in her head and drawing heart from his apparent harmlessness, she had forced a smile to her lips and strode up to him, hand extended, to introduce herself. Then it had happened: his features had rearranged themselves into a mask of icy derision. A haughty eyebrow had gone up, his beautiful mouth curving into a tiny, disparaging smile, as if he had judged her already and found her wanting. That had been the first of his many strengths she had encountered that day: the force of his quiet yet overpowering contempt. 

She recalled that in that moment, faced with such utter yet unvoiced scorn from the man who had been at the origin of her predicament, she had felt a tinge of blind, irrational anger towards him. Back then it had taken the entire concentration of her will not to lash out at him verbally, although she had been sure her ire had shown on her face. For a desperate minute or so she had wanted to blame him and only him for everything, ignoring the burden of guilt Starfleet and her own father had shared. She was struggling with the exact same type of fury now. She all but longed to be able to hate him, to pin the whole nightmare of the past three years and her inner turmoil on him. 

After all, it wasn't as if he were faultless. He had known her to be innocent of her father's machinations and had seen how she had always sought to treat him and his family like people. Yet he had acted as though she were a pawn in a power-play and an object of his revenge against her parent. It didn't help that she felt culpable as well. If only she had been stronger and had resisted the pull to seek refuge from her solitude and dejection in his arms, begging for scraps of affection, giving him an opening to manipulate her emotionally. She shouldn't have played his game at all, but she had thought she had had nowhere to go and now that she did, she was still drawn to him. 

What irked her the most was that his recent admission of caring had sounded, as if he had merely fallen into the trap he had laid for her, as if he had grown fond of her against his will. But still he had realized he had wronged her and she was more furious with herself than with him, because deep down inside she wanted to forgive him and give their relationship another chance. She shouldn't. She knew she shouldn't. Just like she shouldn't want to leave behind everything she had grown up wishing for and build a new world with the Augments. 

She had no delusions of grandeur. She just wanted to help. Perhaps with a balancing influence of the gentler ideas of her own world and the lessons of the past almost three centuries the Augments had missed, their new society would be less authoritarian and aggressive. In his time, Khan had been a dictator but even the hostile of contemporary historians admitted that he had not been malevolent and had sought to be fair if strict in his legislating. Beneath that cold arrogance and ferocious superiority beat a heart that didn't lack tender feelings; he was loyal beyond belief in his attachments and he had an unexpectedly strong sense of justice, which indicated that although it was less discriminative than that of most, he did have a conscience. 

However, he had seen the absolute worst of two different human civilizations. Made into what he was without his consent, then experimented upon and forced to watch his childhood friends butchered by the same people who were responsible for their existence, he had turned the trauma into thirst for revenge and ambition and built an empire from scratch. Then he had been hardened by a war he had not started and lost in a whirl and bloodbaths and betrayal, only to barely escape what in essence had been the genocide of his kind, as at the end of the Eugenics War, all the Augments had been summarily executed after farce trials had been held to give the proceedings an appearance of legality. 

That and her father's actions against his family had bred a steady resentment within him. Carol did not fool herself: Khan was capable of much, much worse. There was a propensity for blind, unchecked rage in him and his passionate nature easily gave into vengeful tendencies that would send an army of Klingons cowering. If properly scorned, there were absolutely no limits to what he would do. But then again, no one, not even in their perfectly polished century, could tell for a fact what they would do, if pushed to the brink. Ironically, what made Khan the most dangerous was what one would call his humanity. But then again the Augments didn't like being called human. 

Thoughts, figments of disparaged emotions and conflicting desires swarmed in her head, as she stretched on the bed, seeking to relieve the unwelcome pressure in her back muscles. Staring at the darkened metal around her, she let herself be cradled by a more tranquil memory: lounging on the terrace of their now destroyed house on Ceti Alpha V listening to Khan reading to her from Moby Dick: 

“The more so, I say, because truly to enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold, for there is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself. If you flatter yourself that you are all over comfortable, and have been so a long time, then you cannot be said to be comfortable any more. But if, like Queequeg and me in the bed, the tip of your nose or the crown of your head be slightly chilled, why then, indeed, in the general consciousness you feel most delightfully and unmistakably warm. For this reason a sleeping apartment should never be furnished with a fire, which is one of the luxurious discomforts of the rich. For the height of this sort of deliciousness is to have nothing but the blanket between you and your snugness and the cold of the outer air.” 

# # #

Carol was startled awake by the chiming of her door. She sat up abruptly, momentarily confused. 

“Who is it?” she asked horsely, rubbing at her grainy eyes. 

“Carol,” rumbled Khan from the corridor. “May I come in?”

 

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Purplish eyelids trembled, as the grumpy doctor from the Enterprise ran his scanner over Christopher's prone body. Kati heard the hitch in the wounded man's breath. A slight gasp came from the direction of James Kirk. She looked up at the teary eyes of the captain of the Enterprise. She wanted to comment ironically on the overt display of emotion, but she recalled the warmth with which Chris spoke of the young officer and found that she couldn't talk past the lump building in her throat. 

She shifted her gaze downwards then, fighting her own feelings, and caught Chris' unfocused blue-gray eyes. The smile rose to her lips without conscious prompting on her part. His lids slid closed a few more times in the space of the next minute, before his eyes cleared fully. Kirk's steps drew closer and the doctor told him something about Christopher's condition. She ignored them, aware that with the help of the serum made from her blood, his recovery was a given. 

Her hand covered his on the bed and their fingers meshed together. “Kati...,” he coughed, her name coming out dry and garbled. 

McCoy gave him a drink of water and asked him how he was. Christopher caught sight of Kirk and his entire face lit up at the sight, before wearily confirming that he was well. Then he lay back on the bed and glanced to her again. “Are you okay?” he wheezed. 

Something vaguely familiar squeezed painfully at her chest. McCoy and she had just dragged him back from death's door and his concern was for her, who was standing there looking mighty healthy. The concern on the part of her family was expected, forged in pain, fire and a three-hundred years old connection, but the care of outsiders never failed to mystify her. Even now she had to push back her wish to run away from the room and from the emotion, as she muttered that she was just fine. Chris rewarded her answer with a brilliant smile that made her legs feel wobbly. 

Christopher's hand squeezed hers feebly, not letting go even as his eyes roved to the young captain once more. “Where are we, James?” he inquired. 

Kirk's face fell, obviously not looking forward to the explanation he would have to give. Kati's sense of irony recovered instantly. 

“This should be entertaining,” she murmured with a triumphant smirk that disappeared as Christopher addressed her again. 

“Kati, do you mind giving us a moment, please?” Chris asked kindly. 

When it came down to it, she did mind but she couldn't deny him, either. She regretfully released his hand, her bereft skin immediately missing the contact. “Of course,” she said softly and left without looking at the other two humans in the med bay. She was in no mood for their condemnation or dismay. 

In the corridor, she leaned against a wall, scrunching her eyes shut. Her head was swimming with fragmented thoughts and doubts. She was in serious trouble. She gripped at the first rationalization available: Christopher and she had just survived a difficult, adrenaline-fueled brush with death. It was precisely the kind of situation that facilitated easy and unwarranted bonding. She only needed time; it would all go away. Summoning her entire will power, she dragged herself towards the bridge. 

Kati didn't like humans. It had nothing to do with the difference in strength between them and the Augments. Not even with the many transgressions they had committed against her people. She reserved her wrath for those who had earned it directly and against whom she exacted swift and merciless retribution, whenever possible. And when impossible, she generally found a way to make it possible. Her dislike of humans was rooted in their annoying physical fragility. A fall broke their bones. Viruses easily nestled in their hastily-put together blood and unleashed terrible illnesses. Their ribs cracked with ridiculous ease. Their loyalties were in constant flow, just as kindness and unredeemable cruelty resided within them, sometimes to such an extent that it drove them mad. 

She definitely did not like humans, nor had she wanted to befriend Carol Marcus. When the woman had arrived on Ceti Alpha V, the mere thought of her last name had made Kati's skin crawl. She had expected Carol to be prejudiced against them, suspected her of being a spy and overall, had seen her as nothing more than a hostage too important not be kept alive and well, despite the burning desire to make her pay for what her father had put them through. But Carol had regarded them with wide, fearful eyes, even as she so visibly striven to mask said fear. She had drifted among them like a sad ghost, keeping to herself but at the same time seeming so eager to reach out to them.

Kati had often tended to the hydroponic garden by Khan's house on the old colony, acutely aware of the human's eyes on her from the shadow of windows. Then one day Carol had come down with two steaming cups of that vile synthesized tea. Kati had accepted the invitation more out of amusement than anything else, but Carol had inquired about her plants and before Kati had even realized it, they had been talking for over an hour. It had not taken Kati long to understand that while she might not have looked the part with all her insistence on keeping her dignity, Carol had also been a victim of her father's machinations. After that, their relationship had progressed seamlessly and Kati had discovered a new, previously unexplored facet of the vulnerability of humans: it evoked a most disturbing yet unshakable urge to shield and protect. 

The turbolift doors hissed open to admit her onto the bridge. Khan was engrossed in the readings of the central console, while the Vulcan from the Enterprise stirred the ship through the mapped pathway through the Klingon Empire and towards neutral space. The place was otherwise empty and deadly silent. The alien didn't turn or gave any other sign of acknowledging her presence. She walked up to Khan who lifted his eyes to look at her with a question in his eyes. Kati hesitated, thinking quickly. 

With their memory, they spoke just about every Earth language they had come in contact with, but the only one that felt native to them was the Punjabi dialect indigenous to the region in India, where the medical facility in which they had grown up had been located. The computer aboard the Vengeance had informed them that it had since disappeared so presumably the Vulcan could not be aware of it.

“Humans,” she began in Punjabi. “We can't live with them, can't conquer them and apparently we can't live without them, either.”

She had anticipated at least a hint of a smile, but instead the creases on his forehead deepened, as his eyebrows knitted together. Something flickered in his eyes, but it was gone too soon for her to get an accurate read on it.

“You have the bridge,” he told her in the Standard language, they had learnt since their awakening to the 23rd century. 

She nodded and moved to replace him. The command in his words had been unmistakable. She looked over the the console, though Khan's gaze right before he left the bridge haunted her. There had been something in them nobody knowing him could have ever associated with him. It had looked suspiciously like uncertainty.

# # #

Carol stumbled blearily from the bed, almost allowing Khan in, before she realized she was in her underwear. Although her scruples were overdue, given their past physical relationship, she still stopped herself and fished her pants and blouse from the back of the chair, where she had discarded them, and put them on. 

“Computer, let him in,” she finally said, running a hand through her hair. 

Khan stalked inside as if he owned the place, which on the Vengeance was not entirely inaccurate. He eyed the tangled bedding critically. “I apologized for waking you up.” His gaze flickered to her then, the laser-focus of intent accentuating the golden rays in the swirl of blue and green of his eyes. 

A shiver climbed up her spine, waking her up completely and making goose-bumps pucker all over her skin. She recognized that look and the heated edge of desire in it. 

“This is about earlier,” she remarked in a deliberately casual voice.

“Yes, it is,” he responded, taking a step closer to her. “But not about the political part of it.”

“Good, because I am compelled by my duty as a member of Starfleet to report that part to my superior officers.”

He all but shrugged. “I already considered the possibility of one of you realizing all is not what it seems.” His utter lack of concern bordered on unnerving and his scrutiny was as probing as ever. “Tell me: what would you report on our relationship, when your captain asks? Because he will ask.”

Carol looked away, aware that no matter how composed she tried to appear, he would easily see through her facade and flay her open. “That's not your problem,” she replied in a clipped voice. 

“Kati says you are unhappy with your return to Starfleet,” he responded mildly.

The sudden change of topic made her shift her gaze back to him, even as dark suspicion entered her mind. “Why are you here?” she asked icily. 

“You can come back to Ceti Alpha V,” he continued as if uninterrupted. “You can have your own house and work on the colony's installations as you did before. My people would receive you with open arms.”

His statement confounded her. “Even if I were to leave Starfleet, there are still many other options available to me in the Federation.”

He nodded, his whole face moving with an emotion halfway between regret and tenderness. “I know, but if you stay within Federation limits, I would not have the chance to earn your forgiveness or show you that I have not grown fond of your against my will.”

Carol gaped at him with an open mouth. She wanted to believe him and his earnest expression encouraged her in that direction, but the past stood between them once more. “I don't trust you,” she blurted out after a few painfully long minutes of heavy silence. “What's worse, I don't trust myself around you.”

“Let's look at this objectively then: I can no longer compel you in any way, nor do I have anything to gain from your presence at my side.”

She scoffed, waving a dismissive hand at his words. “Yes, you do. You get to complete your revenge against my father. He slipped through your fingers once, but sooner or later I'll have to tell him where I am. And then you can shove our marriage, our real marriage this time in his face, while he's powerless to do anything about it.”

His eyes narrowed, his features twisting with rage and viciousness. “I had your father's head in my hands and I could have crushed it with barely an effort. The only reason I didn't was because I knew it would break you.”

“Do you have any idea how terrifying that sounds?” she retorted.

“Do you want to hear something even more so? I would kill for you. Now I could tell you it's because I love you, but your kind throws that word around so casually, using it to name the most frivolous of emotions or to justify every vulgarity and betrayal. The human understanding of it is such a pale substitute for my devotion. I admire your integrity, your intelligence and strength of spirit. To me you are exquisite in every way. I am sorry if all this offends your 23rd century sensibilities, but one thing I have never lied to you about is what and who I am.”

She was blinking rapidly, her world sliding off course and veering into the direction of a radically different landscape. She stared and stared. His expression wasn't something she hadn't seen in him before: the widened eyes, the intensity in them and the overblown pupils, the openness in his face. He always looked like this, when he spoke of his family, but there was something else to it: a new nuance. 

“You're right,” she said at last, her lips trembling around the words. “It's frightening and I don't know whether to be incredibly flattered or at least partially insulted by what you've just said, but for what it's worth, I feel the same.”

His eyes burnt with the fervor of his emotion and he moved so close to her that she could feel the heat radiating off him. “Then come with me,” he enticed. 

She drew back, putting a spec of distance between them. She desperately needed clarity, but her judgment was precarious and only clouding further. “I can't,” she responded. “The way we started and everything that's happened between us... it's not healthy. Even the way we feel for each other is pure madness.”

He didn't make any attempt to physically reach her again, but his gaze didn't stray from her face, the intensity in it only increasing. “Why do you think it's such madness? We are intellectual equals, we enjoy each other's company and we share a passionate attraction. As for your lack of trust in me, you can start building one by believing I would never be unfaithful to you and that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for my transgressions against you.”

She was moved but conflicted as well. “I can also believe that you'd be able to sell ice to someone living on Delta Vega.”

He frowned slightly, confusion sweeping over his face. It was endearing and she could not help but smile a bit, no matter how shakily. “I don't know the 20th century equivalent, but I think you get the sentiment.”

A touch of bleakness tainted his expression. “Your answer is no,” he stated with his usual aplomb.

Carol bit into her lower lip, vacillating. “My answer... .” She paused and swallowed, pushing her next words past the suffocating weight pressing on her chest. “I need time.”

He nodded wordlessly and extended his right arm, his palm pressing lightly against her cheek. She leaned into the touch, as her eyelids fluttered. Something was rising within her, tidal and powerful, threatening to pull her under. Her natural instinct was to struggle against it, but she was weary and her body remembered all too well the comfort of his arms. She shivered and he was suddenly closer again. He bent over and she closed her eyes, ready to welcome the kiss, bitter as it would be under the circumstances. But his lips only brushed gently against her forehead. 

Unbidden her arms wrapped themselves around his torso and she burrowed her head into his chest. He returned the embrace and held her for a while. It was she who kissed him, disregarding the voice screaming in the back of her head that this was a mistake. She didn't care. She wanted this stolen moment in time. Perhaps it was also unfair to him on some level, but he was kissing her back with equal abandon. Carol let herself be swept away. 

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read, please leave me a comment with your thoughts! Thank you!


	15. Chapter 15

They lay entwined on the narrow and hard bed that was more of a bunk in her temporary quarters on the Vengeance. Carol was splayed on top of Khan, their legs weaved together, her left cheek pressed to his chest, just above the heart. His arms were wrapped securely around her, as if he wanted to imprint her into his body. The covers were thrown haphazardly over their cooling bodies. Everyone of her nerve endings was buzzing pleasantly from the excitement of their love-making and sweet haze was blanketing the erratic emotions their charged conversation had stirred. The lassitude and the peace of the moment was very appealing, drawing her in, even as she was dimly aware that the serenity was only a temporary reprieve. 

They were on borrowed time, just like they always had been. There were approaching the boarder of the Klingon Empire at maximum speed and he would soon be needed on the bridge. But now she had a chance to stretch their time together into the rest of their lives. A real chance to be with him out of her own choice rather than as a result of a onerous arrangement. No more second-guessing of his motives, either. No matter how much or how little she had believed of his words in the past, she knew she had told her the truth, when he had confessed his feelings for her. 

Still leaving everything familiar behind was disquieting. Above all, their uneven history hovered above them like a dark cloud. Could she truly forgive him for the way he had once disrupted her life? Could she fully get over his treating her like a convenience and mercilessly manipulating her, when she had been at her most emotionally vulnerable? Could she come to grips with the fury and viciousness so deeply ingrained in his nature? It was only a matter of time until he did something she would find morally reprehensible. What then? What would happen to the two of them in that case? And what did it say about her that she loved a man with barely a scant of a conscience?

She hadn't even forgiven her father for what he had done. How would she come to terms with all of Khan's past and his future transgressions? Not to mention that she would have to tell her father at some point that she and Khan were together. How would he react to finding out that his daughter was with someone he didn't even consider a person? She knew she should be more disturbed by her father's thinking of anyone as some creature to be exploited, but that didn't mean she was looking forward to facing the backlash of her only remaining family learning about her and Khan. She was even wary of the people aboard the Enterprise being aware of her relationship with the Augment. 

But then again since did she pick up friends and partners based solely on whether they had the right genetics or not? It was all so complicated and she had a lot of thinking to do. She shouldn't have jumped straight into bed with Khan like this. 

“I can't do this,” she mumbled, thoughts swirling and colliding in her head, shattering languor and injecting a fresh outpour of nervous adrenaline into her veins.

She pushed out of his embrace and grabbed at her clothes splayed all over the floor. Her body was reeling, chilled without the warmth of his arms. She couldn't even look at him, ashamed at the cowardice of her sudden rejection of him. Her hands shook, as she redressed. She heard him pad up to her. She froze in place but did not turn to face him again. His hands rested on her shoulders, his touch a steadying balm. 

At times she envied his single-mindedness. He wanted few and precise things: to keep his family safe, to conquer the world, her, and he went about getting them with his unique determination without once wavering in his decision. He had probably given her a while to settle down after their confrontation in the weapons bay and then sought her out. 

“I have to return to the bridge,” he told her before pressing a light kiss on the top of her head. “You know where to find us,” he added, his usual, thick baritone fraught with heavy meaning.

She nodded not trusting her voice. He let her go and a moment later she heard the rustle of clothing, as he dressed as well. She felt she should give him something too, but her throat was dry and constricted, blocking any words she might have. She swallowed hard, taking an instant to compose herself. 

“We're still married,” she confessed at last, turning to face him. 

His eyes were soft, devoid of the imperious coldness normally residing in their kaleidoscopic depths. Even the edge of inquisitiveness was dulled. A hint of a tender smile grazed his kiss-swollen lips. 

“I never filed for annulment.”

# # #

Christopher looked better than a few hours ago, though he was still pale and his eyes remained blood-shot. Kati approached his bed in sick bay with no small amount of trepidation, though she was careful to keep her grin in place. She wasn't very good at this. Being among the eldest of the Augments, she had always viewed her connection to them as one of the familial kind and though she had received requests, it had never sat right with her to start a romantic relationship with any of them. Nor had she ever imagined herself interested in a human, much less a Starfleet admiral. 

Chris' eyes lit up at the sight of her. She allowed herself to relax at that and held up the tall glass she was carrying. “It's the juice of an aloe-like fruit from Ceti Alpha V that I managed to find in my hydroponic garden on the ship. It agrees with Carol so you should be fine having some,” she said holding the recipient up to him. 

He accepted it with a smile of his own. “Thank you, Kati... for everything,” he said meaningfully. 

She sank into the chair by his bed, busying herself with the move so she wouldn't have to meet his eyes. “No thanks are necessary.”

He sipped from the drink she had brought him. “Mmm... it's delicious.” 

“I'm glad,” she replied.

“Do you know what the Galactic Cultural Exchange Project is?” he asked out of the blue. 

She shook her head no. 

“It's a program to improve knowledge of each other among different species. They organize spectacles in neutral locations throughout the quadrant. If you'd like to see a show of Antares theater for yourself, it would be my pleasure to take you to one.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. Apparently, some things were easier in the 23rd century. “Mine too,” she answered and reached to cover his free hand with hers. He smiled and lifted her fingers to his mouth to place a kiss on them. 

# # #

McCoy did a 180 degrees turn and raced to the safety of the corridor outside the Vengeance's med bay. Once here he snorted in annoyed disbelief. He had not all but walked in on Admiral Pike asking out an Augment and likely personal friend of Khan Noonien Singh. That was his story and he was sticking to it. The Universe officially hated him back. Probably not as much as it hated Jim, though. He could not imagine the captain of the Enterprise being happy about his prospective stepmother, when he got word of it.

On the other hand, McCoy told himself not to be prejudiced. This was not so different from dating an alien and it could be argued that any part Kati might have played in their past entanglements had been under Khan's orders. As for all the misdeeds the Augments had been accused of in their own century, the documents saved were few, the people long gone and the contemporary historians unable to agree on anything. The doctor could only hope that the googly eyes Kati was unabashedly making at the admiral were real and not part of some ploy. 

# # #

Captain Kirk had insisted that the Enterprise crew supervised the release of the slaves rescued from the destroyed Orion Syndicate base in the Romulan Neutral Zone and Khan had not put up a fight. Khan had no reason to retain these people and if Starfleet wanted to take on the responsibility for their well-being, he had been all too eager to let them. The truly valuable cargo resided in the brig, hidden from the Enterprise crew, in the form of a high-ranking Syndicate member with a wealth of information about hide-outs locations the Vengeance could quietly raid and acquire useful technology for the colony, prized good to be traded on galactic markets and additional ships. That in doing so, they would also be hammering down on slave-traders was only a welcome bonus.

Kati and Khan's eyes met across the bridge of the Vengeance. They were now in orbit of the Theta IX planetoid, with the Enterprise in viewing range. The Starfleet officers were in one of the ship's shuttle bays preparing for departure. All of them. Kati had dearly hoped for a different outcome, but Carol was leaving as well. Whatever hopes of his own that had dashed, Khan did not allow them to disturb his cool mask of concentration. He pressed a few keys on the console to his right. On the screen before her, Kati saw the cargo doors crack open setting the Enterprise crew free. She clamped down on the concern about how this boded for what had sparked between her and Christopher Pike. 

Then again they had a settlement to arrange and Otto to pick up from the planetoid. So the Vengeance would be there for approximately twenty more hours. Carol still had time to change her mind. Even if she didn't, Kati had made sure Carol had not left without all the subspace frequencies needed for contacting them on Ceti Alpha V. There was still a chance.

# # #

After a hot water shower and an uninterrupted, dreamless sleep in her comfortable bed in the privacy of her quarters aboard the Enterprise, Carol was beginning to feel human once more. She replicated a bowl of mulligatawny, which she was in the process of enjoying. Beneath the torpor lurked a squirming knot of restlessness and doubts about the decision she had to make. She could, of course, ignore Khan's declaration of love and go on as before, but she had a sneaking suspicion that she had long since bypassed the avoidance stage. 

Despite the violent disruption on the part of the Orion Syndicate, the attempt at talks with the Klingon Empire had not been a total loss. The Starfleet officers' response to the crisis had apparently shown the warrior people that the Federation was not without honor and hence, the Klingon Council had expressed interest in reprising the discussions in a new location as early as possible. Meanwhile, the Enterprise had been ordered to the nearest starbase, where Admiral Pike could complete his recovery. 

“Lieutenant Marcus,” came Mister Spock's measured voice over the comm system. “Please report to the captain's ready room.”

Carol stood. “On my way, Commander.”

She eyed her blue uniform spread on the bed, recalling how inappropriate civilian attire had felt on that rainy London day when she had first met Khan. Back then it had seemed inconceivable that she would ever reach a point in her life when she thought twice about putting back on her service clothes.

 

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this is the end, my friends, and I hope you have tissues ready.   
> Thank you all for the support and kind words! Thanks again, mooshlam, for the lovely vid!   
> Please let me know what you think of this last chapter as well!

Carol walked as if in trance, trying her best not to let herself slip into a me versus them mentality. Kirk and Spock were well within their rights to inquire whether her subjectivity where the Augments were concerned might put the ship at risk, should they run into them again. That particular train of thought became hard to hold on to, when the doors to the captain's ready room slid open to reveal Kirk and Spock sitting side by side and presenting a perfectly united front. 

She took a deep breath and moved to take a seat across the table from her superiors. “Captain, Mister Spock,” she murmured in the eerie silence of the chamber. 

The Vulcan's eyes assessed her in the same manner she had seen him use in the science labs with an unknown sample. The feeling of alienation reared its ugly head again. Jim leaned forward, his face open and sympathetic. 

“Carol,” the captain began. “I know we've been through this before and you don't have to answer any personal queries, but sometimes the safety of the Enterprise depends on the performance of one crew-member. Mister Spock and I have been discussing the situation.” He paused to glance furtively at his second in command. “The only way we can all walk away from this with as little embarrassment as possible for all the parties involved is for you to recuse yourself from all future dealings with either Khan himself or the Augments as a whole. No questions asked. This will be the end of it.”

Carol resisted the urge to squirm in her seat. That sounded reasonable and had the advantage of giving everyone an easy way out. It would also spare her from mentioning what she had deduced of Khan's hidden agenda in their recent incursion in the Romunal Neutral Zone, but she couldn't just acquiesce and put it out of her mind. It felt both dishonest and disloyal to her. Her hands balled into fists on the table, fingernails digging into her palms. She was still wearing a Starfleet uniform, after all. Still... .

“Captain,” she said, steeling herself for the task ahead. Her gaze flickered to Spock. “Commander, there is something you need to know.”

She told them everything, how Khan was covering up for something that had happened during their recent rescue mission and how he would not hesitate to use the footage of the Starfleet flagship's senior officers infringing on the Federation's treaty with the Romulans, should he deem it suitable for his purposes. She all but tripped over her words, yet kept her voice steady through it all. Her back was so straight, her muscles locked with tension and started to ache. 

When she was done, Kirk and Spock exchanged uneasy looks. The Vulcan was frowning and Jim looked definitely perturbed. There wasn't anything they could actually do, since this was an unfortunate consequence of a mission that formally had never taken place. In fact, the less fuss they made about the whole matter, the more likely they were to keep the secret. Khan had them in a binder.

“Thank you, Carol,” Jim said meaningfully.

His gratitude lodged itself like a heavy weight at the bottom of her stomach, causing bile to rise in her throat. Her head was swimming and her heart tugged her into the direction of the Ceti Alpha system. She willed her hands to relax on the table, as the pull of her fists bore down almost painfully on her knuckles. 

“That would be all, Doctor Marcus,” Spock told her. 

She nodded and stood. The room was spinning and the light, though softer than aboard the Vengeance, made her eyes itch. “Captain!” The word was out of her mouth before she could think the better of it. Kirk looked up sharply. Spock followed suit. 

The choice was not obvious. There was no clarity, no sudden revelation to save her. The waters were still muddled, but she realized that the more considered it, the harder it would be to decide eventually. Follow your heart or follow your head was easy in theory, but hers were both confounded. She had reasons to stay as well as reasons to leave. She fitted in both places and at the same time was a stranger in both. She might as well go for the one with the extra incentive. 

# # #

The Starfleet transport was supposed to drop her at the edge of the Mutara Nebula. Federation territory stretched behind her with all of her past: her London days, her studies, the Academy, her position in Starfleet, the prospect of the five-year mission aboard the Enterprise, her father locked in a penal colony for the rest of his life. She brought a few personal possessions and a crate of paper books with her back to the Ceti Alpha system along with a lot of melancholy, but also a good measure of hope. Hope for the friendships forged among the Augments, her work on the budding colony and a fresh start for her and Khan. 

She had visited Earth after presenting Captain Kirk and his first officer with her resignation and told her father the whole truth about her and the Augment leader. His venomous words still rang in her ears, just as his final, heartfelt-sounding plea for her to reconsider did. The breakdown in their relationship still stung and she could not imagine a day when it would not. Although as a Federation citizen she could travel past the border as she wished, untouched by the prohibition against the Augments, she didn't know when and if she would ever see him again.

Her friends in Starfleet had been similarly dismayed. Christine Chapel had tried to dissuade her. Nyota Uhura had acted as if Khan were to send her back in pieces in the years to come, though she had not made any attempts to persuade her to change her mind. Ironically, Jim Kirk had been the most laid-back about it, only emphatically asking her if she was sure. Carol was indeed sure, maybe not completely, but for the most part she was. 

One of the Vengeance's shuttles emerged past the foggy blue and purple of the giant Mutara dust cloud and floated close enough that she could see through the narrow window to her right into the other craft. Khan was piloting. For an instant their eyes met. Something glimmered in the sea of calmness of his visage. Carol smiled. 

# # #

Nyota Uhura sat in one of the many waiting lounges of the San Francisco Galactic Station, sorting through the mixed feelings she had towards the meeting about to take place. It wasn't that she was not glad to see Carol Marcus, because she was. She was also antsy and a bit uneasy. She had not seen Carol since the first year of the Enterprise five-year mission. The other woman had resigned from Starfleet on personal grounds after a dramatic briefing with Kirk and Spock in the aftermath of their still unofficial and top secret rescue mission in the Romulan Neutral Zone. Nyota had insisted Carol not leave Federation space without giving her frequencies where she could be contacted at any time. 

Since then she and Carol had been in sporadic yet constant contact over the years. It would have been an exaggeration to call them friends yet Nyota had been happy to be able to check in with Carol and make sure she was alright. In the meantime, the five-year mission had come to a close, the Enterprise back in the Sol system for a refit. It had been a most exciting time both on a personal and professional level, topped in the first case by her recent marriage to Spock and in the latter, by several commendations and an advancement in rank. 

She was looking forward to another such mission, now that Jim had refused a position with Starfleet Command and requested a second tour aboard the Enterprise, not bearing to be away long from what was possibly the true love of his life. Sometimes she worried so for him. The flagship was a demanding and jealous wife, who chased away more prospective partners than any commitment issues the captain could be suspected of. 

Her time on Earth had also given her the opportunity to reconnect with family and old friends from the Academy. One of those was Admiral Pike, who would retire in the near future. She was among the privileged few aware of just where and with whom Pike was to spend said retirement. Much like in Carol's case, she was torn between concern and her desire to be supportive. After all, it appeared that things had turned out just fine for Carol. 

The transport Carol was supposed to be aboard was announced via the communications system and she stood, her eyes scanning the incoming crowd. They were to be joined later by the former Enterprise nurse, Christine Chapel, who had recently returned to Earth to study to become a doctor. Right now Nyota would have preferred to have Christine by her side, since she knew Carol a lot better. 

Carol came into view soon enough, smiling in recognition, as she laid eyes on Nyota. She looked splendidly, sleek and somewhat exotic in a jade, wide dress covered by a transparent lemon yellow cape. Her hair was longer, sweeping past her shoulders and decorated with a sparkling, Orion-style pin. Nyota waved and Carol slithered through the throng towards her. As she walked closer and past a Trill, Nyota saw that Carol was holding the hand of a blond little girl, who could not be older than three. 

Nyota was taken aback. She knew Carol had become a mother but had not expected her to bring her daughter along. Still she kept her smile in place as she looked down at the child who was regarding her curiously with wide eyes the color of Earthen oceans with an infusion of gold around the pupils. Khan's eyes. 

“Hello,” Nyota said giving Carol a one-armed hug. “And who are you?” she addressed the girl, crouching down to her level. 

“This is Sarina,” Carol answered. “Sari, say hi to our friend, Nyota.”

“Hi,” the girl said shyly, extending a hand in greeting.

Nyota shook the tiny hand. “Hi, Sarina. Welcome to Earth!” 

# # #

A warm breeze caressed the flowers-encased terrace of Christine Chapel's apartment in San Francisco. The former nurse was on the thick carpet covering the small surface playing with Carol's daughter. The little girl seemed endlessly fascinated by the Earth's azure skies. Leaning against the banister, Carol enjoyed the air of her home planet filling her lungs, her gaze drifting between the sky-scrapers in the distance and her child, a pang slicing through her at the sound of Sarina's laughter. 

“She's wonderful,” Uhura said at her side. 

“Yes, she is,” she agreed. She fiddled with the coffee mug in her hands. “I'm taking her to meet my father,” she admitted, contemplating the dark liquid in her cup.

“Does he...?”

“... know why I left Starfleet a second time? Who the father of his grand-daughter is?” She lifted her eyes to the compassionate ones of the other woman. “He does. Before I left for the Ceti Alpha system, I visited Earth to tell him about the first one. It ended up in a screaming match, during which we told each other once again just how ashamed we were to be related. I sent him a subspace message when Sari was born. He never replied, but I want her to know this part of her legacy. I'm taking her to London, too, to show her where I grew up... .” 

A startled cry erupted from Sarina's direction. Carol dropped the mug in her hands and raced towards her daughter. Sari did not look upset, as she held her left hand up, a gash marring the palm, bright red blood drops dripping onto the beige carpet. 

“I'm so sorry, Carol. This toy is supposed to be safe for children her age,” babbled Christine.

Carol shook her head, barely glancing at the toy her daughter had broken in half. “Sari, are you in pain?” she asked, pulling a tissue from her dress pocket to soak up the blood flowing from her child's skin, as she gingerly craddled the injured hand. 

“I'll get a dermal regenerator,” Christine said getting to her feet. 

“There's no need. Thank you,” Carol told her. The cut was superficial and Sari's skin was already knitting back together. “Honey, we've talked about this,” she said to her daughter, carefully studying her for any signs of discomfort. “You need to tell us when something stings or hurts and you mustn't squeeze or pull at anything too hard.”

Sari nodded solemnly before her eyes roved to Nyota and Christine. “Mommy has all these rules, but Daddy says I can do anything I want,” she explained.

It was a continuous contingent point between her and Khan, who, despite demanding absolute order and discipline as a ruler, had one policy when it came to raising his daughter: catering to her every whim. Of all the things she had expected from raising a family with Khan, her ending up being the stern parent had not been one of them. 

# # #

The jagged, charcoal rock rose from the waters of the Ocean of Dust not far away from the southern shores. It was uninhabited, only a crimson moss that was indigenous to it marring its dark surface in places. Khan landed his shuttle on its edge and got out into the unyielding, howling wind of the planet he had called home for over a century now. The air was flagrant with the sweet, spicy scent of the water surrounding him. Above him the skies of the capital of his still rising empire were as ashen and implacable as ever. 

It befitted him: this savage yet vibrant planet, where his family had finally found its place far away in both space and time from the tragedies of their past. They had built a world of their own making there and from it spanned a new empire of order that had started with the Tholian attack. Their victory had been swift and unquestionable and had transformed the Tholian Assembly into a protectorate, announcing to the entire quadrant that there was a new player on the galactic scene. After that, their growth had been steady and uninterrupted.

It had never weighed down on him and he had never swayed in his leadership of his people, not until that unusually tranquil and sunny day two decades ago, when his wife's hand had gone limp in his grasp. Before then he had experienced grief and sorrow, but that had been his first taste of genuine, biting loneliness. However, even the augment blood's regenerating properties had its limits and Carol had refused any discussion of resequencing her DNA, wanting to spend her life as human as she had been born. She had also turned down titles, honors and any celebration of her contribution to their culture, insisting that their family and her being of help was reward enough. 

In keeping with her wishes, her funeral monument was modest, sculptured in the harsh rock and ornate discreetly with crystals of the planet's most valuable minerals, in the discovery and investigation of which she had participated. He stepped closer to the grave and traced the letters of her name carved in stone. One word, no ranks, no titles attached to it: Carol. Underneath it streamed the verses of Robert Frost, a poet Khan could not abide, but the works of whom she had loved: 

“Somewhere ages and ages hence:  
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —  
I took the one less traveled by,  
And that has made all the difference.”

 

~ the end ~


End file.
